The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who won't be a hypocrite

Well. Um. How do i put this.

Sal broke up with me. Basically. For reasons I barely understand (or rather, I understand the reason, I just have no idea how it makes sense as a good reason, but whatever) and would rather not go into, he decided he'd rather just be friends for now.
I took it pretty hard.
Last night I cried harder than I have in a very long time. It's just...this gut-wrenching sense of loss and emptiness. I'd keep going over what he said in my mind and it felt like someone was punching me in the diaphragm. Of course, once it was on Facebook, I was getting comments from all my friends saying they hope I felt better, but it was little consolation. The only real consolation was after I got back from Sal's house (yes, he did have the balls to do it in person, thank goodness for his sake) I invited Fred over for dinner. He always helps me feel better (again, though, ITS NOT LIKE THAT. He's like a brother). He was as surprised as I was, and had little inspiration to offer as to a cause. Regardless, that cheered me up until he left and i was reduced to a sobbing fetal position. *Sigh*

He made it clear that he isn't interested in dating other people just yet, and that he definitely still wants me as a friend. And after today when we talked I'm convinced he still cares about me, that's what so f^&*ing confusing. Psh. Guys. xP.

BUT! HAVE NO FEAR!!

Because, if you'd just scroll down a tad, you'll see that 3 days ago I was writing on this very topic about how there's always hope and to never give up because everything can change. So inbetween my still continuing (but less frequent) bouts of bawling, I shall stay positive and be happy with what i have. It could be worse, he could have cheated on me with his cousin or turned gay. But this was just a simple changing of status that takes some time getting used to. I won't lie, I'm far from over it, and I'm using every eyelash wish i get for a second chance, but even if that doesn't happen, I'll find a way to be happy as his friend because that's what's making him happy. That's what happens when you love a person, their happiness is more important than your own.
Oh! This is a good time to tell you my 3 qualifications for love! It's basically the 3 questions you ask yourself and if you answer yes to all three then you can honestly say you love them. They are:
-Do you trust them absolutely and completely with anything? Like would you put your life in their hands without a second thought?
-Do you care about them infinitely? As in, do you put their well-being and happiness before your own?
-Would you die for them?
So that's my qualification system. And i do still love him, I can't deny that, so I do still put his happiness before my own, so I will find a way to deal with this because that's what he wanted and there isn't much I can do anyway.

So, again, I'm staying as positive as I can.

♪: "Breathe" by Taylor Swift
♫: "When We Die" by Bowling for Soup

Breathe - Taylor Swift

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who believes in second chances.

A year ago, Sal and I broke up.

We got back together 2 months later, but still. It was a landmark. I won't go into detail, but let's just say it was kinda messy, and mostly my fault. At first, i didn't regret it at all, i was sure i had lost all feelings for Sal. It took about 5 minutes the next time i saw him though for me to realize how stupid and wrong i was. When i finally did acknowledge that I still had feelings for him, though, he was already crushing on my best friend (a girl bff, not Fred xD). It was tough, but eventually love triumphed and we were back and happy as ever.

Today, we spent the day catching fish in the stream i mentioned before with Fred. We hung out there, keeping cool, before going out to icecream and then watching Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. And it was wonderful. Everything about being with him now just seems so right, so perfect. I seriously could not be happier.

Showed me this blog post a year ago? I woulda said you were nuts.

But, we must always remember that amor omnia vincit. That's latin for 'love conquers all'. It's true. So for anyone heartbroken reading this, remember that there always is hope. Sure, some ex's are better left in the dust, but sometimes it's just a temporary rough patch that can be turned around in the space of a weekend. Don't give up. Ever.



♪: "When We Die" by Bowling for Soup

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who likes makeup

Not wearing makeup, though. Mainly cuz it's a pain in the butt to get off.

But I like the idea of helping other people look prettier. I also like the idea of being very knowledgeable about something (don't we all?). So after watching some of MichellePhan's makeup how-to's on youtube as well as reading Bobbi Brown's Makeup Manual, I was intrigued. I decided I want to stop just lathering stuff on my face until it looks good; I wanted to know what i was talking about and have the tools to really become good at makeup. So after inheriting some brushes from my mom, we went off to Macy's to pick up some pointers and possibly a couple more brushes.
The Lancome lady didn't have a clue about the questions i was asking her, and I ended up looking like a vampire with a black eye without gaining any kind of tips or pointers. However, as we were leaving, we saw a lady getting her makeup done by one of the MAC employees. She was explaining each step as she did it and the woman looked great!

Interesting thing though: after layering a bunch of concealer, foundation, primer, eyeshadow, blush, etc, Sarah (the MAC lady's name) made a comment like, "I'm not going to use eyeliner because we're going for a more natural look." I just found that hilarious. The makeup trend right now is to look like you aren't wearing makeup---by putting on as much makeup as possible. If the natural look is so appealing, can someone explain why we can't just not wear makeup on a day to day basis? (Although I can understand wanting to dress up for evenings and parties). It's much easier. But, society says we have to, so we do. Another one of those unspoken rules that don't make much sense.
I did end up going back to Sarah so she could do my makeup and I could learn how to apply stuff properly, which really explained a lot. No longer will i be one of those clueless teens with mascara out the wazoo and makeup lines that could divide countries! Huzzah!! :D

I shall do more pondering on this whole concept of "makeup". It seems like there's a lot more to it than meets the eyeliner.

♪: "Stupid Girls" by P!nk

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen with a nerdy, male best friend

I prefer guys to girls any day of the week.

I find girls are shallow, bratty, too talkative, and disloyal. I know this not only because I am one, but because I have had negative experiences with girls exhibiting some or all of these qualities. As I've said, I do love acting, so until mid-8th grade I could giggle and take stupid pictures in the bathroom as good as the next one, but it all just seemed so fake. This was proven when I got a boyfriend that year. He wasn't just a boyfriend, he was a nerd. That's right, he liked calculators. I met him in my Latin class, to give you an idea. Oooh. I began sitting with him more during lunch, and my "biffles" weren't having it. So, we grew apart. 2 out of the 4 girls I was hanging out with don't even acknowledge me in the hallways anymore. However, by growing farther from them I grew closer to my boyfriend, and started hanging out with him and his friends during lunch instead. I had written them off as nerds before like my friends, and they certainly were, but they were much more fun to hang out with than I would have expected. They were good listeners, great at helping with school (although some were too arrogant, a couple were really helpful and patient with me, and continue to be. Two helped me get through math last year with a B+!) and they were genuinely nice people. They were too smart to be into any kind of drugs and their label was too unapplealing for them to be caught up with girls (except Sal of course. That's the codename I'm giving my boyfriend for these posts ;)). I was shunned by them at first, of course, because of my cooties, also possibly a defense mechanism. Howevs, once they saw I wasn't being repelled, and was more intrigued by their homework-completing calculator programs than disgusted, and could actually hold my own in a debate about the Constitution, they warmed up to me. I got close to one in particular, Fred. He was a rather sad case at that point, hopelessly immature and creating horribly complex plans to win over a girl who probably didn't know his name, but he was a nice kid. The more I hung out with that group, the closer I got to Fred. Granted, I started picking up more "that's what she said" jokes too, but still :D.
Fred and I would IM a lot, he'd tell me about his latest scheme to get the attention of his current crush, I'd tell him it would fail, it would fail, he'd think up a new plan or find a new girl, rinse, repeat. I'd then go to him with my latest frustrations with Sal, he'd help explain them or just calm me down...he was a good problem-solver. And now, more than a year later, he is far more mature (still making innuendos, but that's par for the course with nerds), has a girlfriend of 2 months (I can barely stand her, she's psycho to me, but they're really fond of each other), and is truely the only person I know I can really talk about anything with and it's never awkward. He asks me the most bizzarre questions about girls, I sigh and answer them, and vice versa. He's always there for me.
Unlike Sal. I was on vacation last week, then the day i got back he had family arrive to stay for a week. He's had almost zero time to call me, I haven't seen him in 10 days, and it was frustrating the bazooka outta me. I invited one of my more tolerable girlfriends to go to the mall, she was busy. So i called Fred. He's been wanting to learn basketball so he could play with his girlfriend. I've been playing for a while so I invited him over so i could teach him some basics. He's the first guy other than Sal I've ever had over my house by himself. My mom was there, of course, but you get the idea.

And you know what? It was awesome.

We played for a little while until it got too hot. Then we went to a small lake a short walk from my house and stood in the water while minnows nibbled our toes. Then we did some archery with the target I have (or, in Fred's case, the ground behind the target...) then came inside and he played me the latest songs he's learned on guitar while i sang along. All the while we talked about our significant others, he asked more bizzarre questions, etc. There wasn't a single awkward silence. It was just really easy and relaxed being with him, and he cheered me up about not seeing Sal. He's the best friend I've ever had. And before you go insinuating, no, there is no romantic interest whatsoever. We both have our own boyfriend and girlfriend respectively, and I consider him like a brother.

So the moral here is that nerds are people too. Not just people, amazing, kind, trustworthy people. So before you go reapplying eyeliner and gossiping about how they'll never get dates, reconsider. They're a lot cheaper than private tutors and you might just make a new friend.

As Bill Gates said, "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."


♪: "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who lives in an unfriendly town

Small towns are weird.
Small snooty towns are weirder.

We have a paved path in our town where joggers, bikers, rollerbladers and dog-walkers can sport their new Underarmor spandex shorts and iPod armbands and get some exercise. The strange thing is that even with adults on this path, there's still the Awkward Hallway Complex (AHC).
The AHC is something any school kid has experienced. It's when you're walking down the hallway to the bathroom or water fountain and the halls are empty, and from a great distance you see someone you know. Do you wave for the entirety of the time they're in your vision? Or ignore them until you've practically run into them? Wave once, then enjoy the awkward silence as you wait to say hello as you pass them? Until then, do you just grin? Or what? And what if you're in said silent hallway and you see someone you were best friends with 5 years ago but drifted from and have nothing in common anymore? Deny existence all together? Awkward wave? OR, what if it's someone you've never talked to in your life, but you love their shirt, or have the same backpack? Do you mention it? It could make their day, or they could take it entirely wrong! It's a traumitizing decision! This is understandable with kids who haven't yet found their place in society, realized their true allies and enemies, and are a little awkward all the way around.

But adults?? Really???

I think it's hilarious. I go for walks on the path regularly with my Mom, who is a very friendly person. She used to live in a southern, sunny city where everyone you could make best friends with someone by talking to them in a grocery checkout line. Tiny New England town? Not so much. So she has no AHC whatsoever. I love going for walks with her because we'll see all these Nike-clad adults walking briskly ignoring everyone else and my mom will say something like, "Oh, Hi ____! It's me, from ____! How are you?" and try to strike up a friendly conversation. The other person is a little taken aback always, clearly surprised that Mom doesn't know the rules of AHC, and makes some small talk before continuing on. Sometimes they'll ignore her all together. The best is when there's a dog. My mom always comments how adorable it is, will soemtimes talk to the dog (no, really) in that squeaky baby-and-pet-voice before letting them walk by. Sometimes the people are nice and Mom will discuss our spastic black lab with them for a while beofre passing on, sometimes they'll just smile politely and yank the dog away. I think it's entertaining to see how different adults react to situations they aren't expecting; something that goes against their unspoken social rulebook. Try it sometime, create an awkward situation someone isn't expecting and see how they react. See if there's a section in their unwritten rulebook for that.

That of course, then begs the question, is the rulebook unspoken because it doesn't need to be? Or because it's all in people's heads? It's all a state of mind, really.

And it wouldn't hurt everyone to be a little friendlier.


♪: "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band (although I'm not a fan, it suits the situation. I'm actually trying to learn to sing it because my boyfriend can play it on the piano and if I learn, we can play/sing together. I've told him I hate the song though, can't wait to surprise him ;))

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who just watched Star Wars Episode VI for the first time

Well. That was quite a movie.

I've been watching the entire series for a while now, chronologically (eg, I-VI, not IV-VI then I-III) and i enjoyed them. Padme was probably my favorite character of the series (rip) seconded by Leia, then the little teddy-bear warrior things that worshiped C3PO in VI. I do have an observation though.

Luke: You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it. Yes. It's you, Leia.
Leia: I know. Somehow, I've always known.

So somehow she's always known. And yet in Episode V, Leia makes out with Luke to make Han jealous. Do you think she knew then?? That just kinda weirded me out. It still made me happy that she and Solo got together in the end...if they got married, did he change his name to Han Duet? So many unexplored answers.

They are good movies though, and I don't feel like a poser now when I call myself a nerd. Now you're wondering how I can call myself a nerd if I haven't seen all of the Star Wars movies until today. Well, I have an obsession with XKCD, Cyanide and Happiness, Yugioh Abridged, and programs on my TI-84. Star Wars was just the finishing touch :).

May the force be with you all!

♪: "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al :)
♫: "Across the Stars" from Star Wars II (my fave song of the series)

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who just started a blog

Hello, Internet!

I suppose I should explain myself and why I'm here instead of doing something more productive. I just finished this book, see, called "Little Brother" by Cory Doctorow (and I definitely reccomend it) and it enlightened me on the power of the internet. Yes, i know it's a fiction book, but the theory still holds. I figure if I can post my daily, weekly, or wheneverly thoughts and opinions, people might listen and agree. And if enough people realize that they aren't the only one who has a certain opinion about something, maybe they'll do something about it. Enough people together can change a society's ideas. So I'll be posting interesting ideas or opinions which occur to me and see if I can't alter a few mindsets, entertain a few, and invoke a few, "OMG! I do that too!"'s. It's always nice to see other people with the same thoughts as you.

As for about me, you don't need to know who I am. This is for a few reasons. Mainly, I don't need people harassing me for my thoughts or giggling behind my back. High school isn't very friendly of a place. Also I don't want you to approach these musings with a history with me in mind, I'd rather you were open-minded. And lastly, I don't want to pick up any stalkers :). All you need to know is that I'm a girl about to enter her sophomore year. I enjoy Jason Mraz music (not just "I'm Yours") and Twix. I love the theater, everything about it. I'm not particularly popular, but I have friends who I'd do anything for. I have a boyfriend whom I have been with for about a year. And FYI, I'll be changing the names of said friends and boyfriend if I mention them, for the same reasons as why I'm hiding my identity.

Now you're probably wondering what the heck "axiomatic" means. It's defined as "pertaining to or of the nature of an axiom; self-evident; obvious." Don't ask me what an axiom is, i have no clue, but self-evident basically covers it. I consider my musings to be something obvious, indisputable. Because anyone's thoughts are obvious and indisputable to themselves :). I guess you could abbreviate it to AMT. Like Amped. Or Axiomusings. Ooh, that sounds kinda cool actually :D. Frankly, you could call it ham and eggs if that floats your boat, as long as you don't actually come here expecting a delicious breakfast (because Wonka only developed how to transport food though TV, not internet ;)). Whatever you wanna call it, it's here and it's gonna be fabulous.

That's it. I'll see where this goes.

♪: "Geek In The Pink" by Jason Mraz