The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen going into Junior Year tomorrow.

I'm really not in the mood to blog but someone was asking for it on my Formspring so I figured I'd do SOMETHING. I'm just feeling so incredibly shitty right now as I have been all day. Ugh.

Summer Conclusion

Overall, I had a great time this summer. I have some of my favorite summer memories ever. Like last year I only had one or two really nice ones, the rest were either a blur or depression. But this year, I can point out specific events that were just amazing. Like the last day of school, or going in Ash's cousin's pool, or the nights we just played video games and chilled, or the Halo nights at John's, or nights in Tawny's pool, or all the parties in general.
However, I also have some really crappy memories. When the jealous ones wouldn't leave us alone, or when I spent afternoons upon afternoons bored and alone watching YouTube videos in my room. Or this past week where things would go from great to bad to great to bad...
It's basically been one hell of a ride. When things were good, they were f*&#ing awesome, and when they were bad I just wanted to throw myself out a window. It happens, I guess. It's just that the times when things WERE bad, they didn't have to be. They were avoidable situations, looking back. But whatever, it happened, I guess I learned from it or something, and there's nothing I can do about it now.

I missed my friends today. My sort-of-old-but-also-kinda-current friends, the Nerd Herd, as we call ourselves. The past 2 years we've spent the Last Day of Summer doing something awesome, be it a picnic or a nice lunch and then a kickball game...it was fun, energizing, and put us all in a great mood for the year ahead. Whereas right now, I spent the day alone, in pain, and bored, because Ash's mom took Ash to Lake Compounce and I wasn't invited. She wouldn't even let him come over after they got home. And it's just like...a shame, really, that since Sal and I broke up and he started dating Rayne, that group kinda fell apart. It's not that we aren't friends or anything, we're still a crew, we just don't have the same out-of-school closeness as before, i don't think. And it's just sad and made me very sad and that combined with not being allowed to see Ash just made me feel very alone today so I cried a lot. So this year instead of being energized and excited to start another year of school with my friends, I just kinda wanna crawl in a hole and go into a coma until next summer. I've been going in and out of this funk for days now and I need to shake myself out of it for good. Whatevs.

Good luck tomorrow, everyone. Summer 2010 will be greatly missed, but hopefully the school year of 2010-2011 will be even better!

P.S. If you find me early tomorrow morning before class (I'll probably be in the commons) you may or may not get a nice first-day treat :).

♪: "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry
♫: "Firework" by Katy Perry <--waking up to that tomorrow to hopefully put me in a good mood for the day ;).

Songs For The Sitch!

"Pearl" by Katy Perry
"Who Am I Living For" by Katy Perry

Both of these are off her album that came out *today* and I love it. probably not quite as much as I loved "One Of The Boys" because of the vast increase in sex and alcohol references, but still, it's good, check it out :).

Twas a long few days, dear bloggity. At least I finished my lit essays, now I just gotta read another 200 or so pages of a book and i'm good to go! :D

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who doesn't own, and never has owned, a video game console.

My mom screwed up my childhood by helping me TOO much.

When you got your Nintendo 64, I was playing with my GeoGenius Interactive USA. 

When you were playing with your GameCube, I was reading a book. 

When you played GameBoy stuff with your elementary school friends, I was taking dance lessons. 

When you were playing Halo, I was learning to fence. 

When you were meteor-smashing your friends off the edge of the stage then double jumping back and ledge-blocking, I was making you nachos in the kitchen. 

I grew up healthy, intelligent, and skilled. 

And yet, I still feel like the loser. 

Because I don't fit in. So many parties now involve Halo, or L4D, or COD, and I just can't fit in with that. Because no matter how hard I try or how much I practice, it's only ever on OTHER people's Xboxes and Wii's. My mom won't let me buy my own because it's a "waste of my brain". So I can't even get any decent time to figure stuff out on my own. And even if i DO get good, you all still have 10 years of experience on me. So even if I play, I'm the handicap on the team. I'm the, "well, you have the two best players...but you also have her so I guess that's fair." I'm the failure that hides in the caves in the corner of Blood Gulch during Team Slayer just so people can't get kills on me, or the one who sits in the base with a shotgun and STILL can't defend the flag. I'm the Sheik that just teleports anytime I can to get away from people, the Kirby that floats and B-Downs whenever I can. I'm the one whose Machoke has Rock Smash, Low Kick, Cross Chop, and Karate Chop. Have i made my point yet? I'm a disgrace. 

It's always been this way. Sal and his friends always played SSB Brawl or COD and I'd fail at that. They made me quite aware of that so I just gave up and agreed with them and felt like shit because I was and I couldn't be as good as them. Now I play Halo with Ash and his friends and I suck at that too. At least they're nicer about it, I guess. I just don't have the experience, and I don't have the opportunity to get any decent experience, and I don't even have the WANT to get any experience because I just struggle through games I don't understand with reflexes that are non-existent and it's discouragement after discouragement. And that just isn't fun for me, sorry. I wish I WAS good. I wish I could be a girl gamer that people actually took seriously. I wish i was good at SOMETHING that anyone values that would make me worthwhile. I'm good at learning languages and writing essays. Woop-de-do, my friends are just SO impressed by that. 

But instead it seems like everything I try to do, I'm not good enough at and no one takes me seriously (not even Ash, most of the time) and I'm just one big joke and it makes me just wanna cry. 

So I'll practice, I will. Not for me; for all of you. For the me that should be like you already. Fuck novels, I'm reading up on Halo Multiplayer strategies. Fuck response essays, I want to be able to write an essay on how to be good at Brawl. Fuck being an outsider, fuck being the handicap, fuck being the laughing stock. The past few days all I hear is how much my opinion DOESN'T count, how little control i DO have, how little i AM doing right. I'm sick of it. I just want to be worth something, anything, to someone. I want to do something right. 

Maybe video games is just a personification of that frustration. But it's something, and I guess that's where I'll start.

♪: "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan (angst ftw.)

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who isn't a creep and neither are you.

Alright people, let's settle this once and for all.

Can we all just agree that anything that pops up on your Facebook Newsfeed is fair game to comment on? Any wall-to-walls, links, or pictures. Even if you don't know the person that well, if it's on your feed, you have the right to comment on it without having to say "Sorry to creep but I just wanted to say...". If you don't want people creeping on your wall-to-wall, use an inbox thread. If you don't want people reading your tumblr/blog, don't stick the URL in your "About Me" box. Otherwise I will assume it is okay for everyone to see, and if I have something to add or can answer your question, I reserve the right to comment without being judged. So does everyone else, again: *regardless of how well you know the person.* In theory, you're only Facebook friends with people you're comfortable talking to anyway :P.

Let's lay down SOME rules though. You CAN be judged as a creep if your comment:
-Is creepy in nature. E.g. Wall Post to Friend: "Hey, wanna come over tomorrow and swim in my pool?" Comment from Stranger: "I bet you look SO hot in a bikini, maybe I'll stop by and sneak a peek ;)."...ew.
-Is one of many, on every single status you post.You know who I mean. Those people that ALWAYS have some sort of witty comment. It was funny at first but after a while it's just a pain in the ass when you get the "So and So commented on your status" notifications hour after hour.
-Is on a post/picture from more than 3 weeks ago. What the HELL were you doing scrolling down that far on my profile??
-Implies some creepy knowledge of a person that you *don't* know that well. E.g. Status: "I can't find my phone!" Comment: "Did you check under all the papers on your navy blue desk in the corner? Or behind the pink iHome on your dresser?" If it's like, your signifo or biffle and you know their house that well because you were there yesterday, fine. Otherwise...that's just weird xD.

Okay? So let's just all agree to this so no one has to feel awkward or have to type "Didn't mean to creep but..." on comments anymore :). Agreed? Awesome :D.

♪: "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney (my friends and i decided it was the stalker song...'hey baby girl I've been watching you all day...' xD)

A Friendly Guide for the Incoming Freshmen :).

[[I had this on my DeviantArt but most of you probably don't follow that, so I wanted to post it here too because I thought you'd enjoy it. Note: this is not a blanket statement for EVERYONE in the class of 2014. Of course some kids are nicer. But you'll still probably find this true for most of them xD. I was inspired to write this after seeing the Facebook pages of a few of the 2014 girls and I couldn't stop laughing.]]

A Friendly Guide for the Incoming Freshman Class of 2014.
So! You're going into your first year of high school this year. Congratulations! I bet you think you're really hot, senior boys will love you for more than your body, and the friends you have now are going to be your very best biffles until you graduate! Keep thinking that, it'll be funny to see your face when you realize the truth ;). But, as an incoming freshie, you're going to face much taunting and harassment. You will probably deserve it. BUT if you follow these handy-dandy tips, you can avoid the stereotype and hopefully make it through this year without anyone wanting to trip you in the hallways! (...Because they will.)

And now, your helpful tips!
Facebook.
For the purpose of counter example, this status update was taken from an actual incoming freshman (the one that inspired this rant, actually). Names have been hidden to protect the moronic.
"[Stereotypical Freshman] I Dislike when old creepy people add me on facebook.=] ILoveYou[Boyfriend]♥ 7/4/10<333"
Tip #1: If you're receiving friend requests from creepy old people, you may want to change your profile picture to something where you AREN'T wearing shortshorts that have been rolled up 10 times, and from an angle were we CAN'T see straight down your shirt to your A-cups.
Tip #2: Facebook is truly wonderful. Right in the information bar under your profile picture, it says, "In A Relationship With _____". Therefore, anyone who views your profile already knows your significant other! You don't ACTUALLY have to put it in every status update! See how much time that'll save you? You're welcome!
Tip #3: Best Friends, Friends, Acquaintances =/= Siblings. We can usually tell this when the 30 people you list as "Siblings" all have different last names.
Tip #4: I really don't care that you woke up tired. And now you're taking a shower. And now you're getting on the bus. And now you're going to school. You could fit this all in one status if you didn't typeee evverryyy letterr moreee thann onceee(((: <333.
Tip #5: If your comment on that photo of yourself is "uglyy :P" why did you post it in the first place? I'm confused...

Appearance.
Tip #1: PUT. THE EYELINER. DOWN. GOOD GOD WOMAN YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING RACCOON. AND THAT'S AN INSULT TO RACCOONS. I REALLY CAN'T EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH BECAUSE AS A MAKEUP ARTIST-IN-TRAINING IT MAKES ME WANT TO STRANGLE MYSELF. If you are unsure how to do *classy* and *natural-looking* makeup, ask me for advice! I'm really good with makeup! I can help! No problem at all! Because if you keep up this look where it seems you just got a black eye, I might as well give you a real one! Much less hassle in the morning!
Tip #2: Wear clothes that fit. Not clothes you can "squeeze into", clothes that FIT. And when they do fit, do not then roll the shorts up and pull the shirt down so everyone can see your underwear. Underwear goes UNDER what you wear. See how that works? So clever! :)
Tip #3: There is no appropriate weather EVER to wear a miniskirt AND Uggs. It's either warm enough for a miniskirt or cold enough for Uggs. Make up your mind.

Speech.
Tip #1: It is not ladylike to swear every few words for the sake of it. Angry? Fine. But, "so I went to class today and the fucking teacher bitch gave me some sort of homework shit and now I have to fucking go home and do it ass" is unnecessary.
Tip #2: Back in MY day, "whore", "bitch", and "slut" were insults. Not pet-names for your friends.

Hallway Etiquette.
Tip #1: Walk. Fast. Or you will be pushed, until you walk fast. Or you will get trampled, until you learn to walk fast.
Tip #2: There are PLENTY of places to hang out before class. The Cafeteria (but not the Commons, that has been claimed by the Nerd Herd), the back hallway, the Assistant Principal's hallway, the cooking hallway...therefore, you really don't need to stand in a group of 20 of your friends that extends into the middle of a hallway that has lockers on both sides. You, once again, will get trampled.
Tip #3: If they look older than you, don't cut them off or shove them in a busy intersection. End of story.

Boys.
Tip #1: That senior guy that you met yesterday who already promised you he loves you and doesn't just want to get in your pants? Yeah, he just wants to get in your pants.
Tip #2: Sleeping around does not gain your peer's approval. It gains your peer's STI's.
Tip #3: "Always&Forever" doesn't really apply when you get a new boyfriend every few weeks.

Drugs and Alcohol.
Tip #1: Don't do them. Seriously. Chances are you can't risk damaging any brain cells.
Tip #2: If you're still going to do them, for goodness sake don't do it in public! We have to take freaking Breathalyzers at Homecoming now because of morons like that! And you WILL get arrested! So at least keep your drunken shenanigans to the privacy of your own home, please.

Upperclassmen.
Tip #1: Respect the seniors.
Tip #2: No, seriously, respect the seniors.
Tip #3: I LOVE THE SENIORS <333.
Tip #4: Basically, when you enter the high school, no one in a higher grade has any respect for you whatsoever. You want them to? You'll have to earn that respect. Gossiping and being obnoxious will not earn that respect. Being polite and respectful by honoring their seniority WILL.

And there you have it! Follow these helpful hints and you'll be on the right track to NOT getting laughed at this year! Best of luck!
Love,
Me :). 

Songs For The Sitch!

"Say Hey (I Love You)" by Michael Franti


Say hey, I'll be gone today.
But i'll be back around the way.
Seems like everywhere I go, the more I see, the less I know.
But I know one thing: that I love you!
I love you! I love you! I love you!!


"Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna


I can't breathe, but I still fight as long as this wrong feels right.
~
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems.
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.
All I know is I love you too much to walk away, though.
~
But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts.


"Lullaby" by Emmy Rossum


When your heart's too sore to beat,
and you feel it might never heal,
and you feel not even beggars want you...I do.


"Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
Cuz I'm here for you.
Please don't walk away, and please tell me you'll stay.

"Self Inflicted" by Katy Perry

Young love's like jumping out an airplane,

or riding a tidal wave on an ocean of emotion.

My heart rips me wide open...

I can't stop, don't care if I lose. 

Baby, you are the weapon I choose.

These wounds are self-inflicted.

I'm going down in flames for you;

baby, you are the weapon I choose.

These wounds are self-inflicted.

"The Only Exception" by Paramore


When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist.
But darling, you are the only exception.


It's been a long day but it ended very happily and that's all I can ask for at this point :). Also wow, 10 months <3. Yay :). 

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who *will* enjoy her stay, thanks!

"People are respectable only as they respect" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Another something to think about. Anyhoozle.

When you go on vacation to a resort, hotel, theme park, anything like that, people there are paid to make sure you have a good time. They are paid to be cheerful, friendly, and accommodating...but most of the time, they aren't xD.
I just got back from Cape Cod, where we have a timeshare that we go to every year. And staying at the resort, I came in contact with different types of hotel staff that can be easily classified. So here's what I think of each type :).
-The Manager Genie. Your wish? His command. This guy/girl (i'll use guy because it was a he in Cape Cod) rocks. When you're arguing with the receptionist about something she insists is "just not possible", he'll overhear, swoop in, and get you exactly what you want. Because you're the guest and it's on his head if you aren't happy. 'So you want that extra beach towel? It's yours. Need to stay that extra night in an overbooked place? We'll kick someone out.' Manager Genie, you are most certainly the man. :D
-The Inconvenienced One. Much less fun. They'll never say it out loud but their eyes and attitude say it all. 'You need your room key right this second? Well it's not like you're interrupting my minesweeper game or anything. It's not like I was about to beat my high score, nooo, it's FINE. I'll just run ALL THE WAY to the back of the office to grab it for you.' I always feel so guilty with these people! Like, I can come back later I guess..? Sheesh.
-The One Who Really Likes Sugary Cereal. I actually love this type. Some may think they come on too strong but I just play along with it. They're usually young, probably a college summer job, so they're full of energy. 'WELL HELLO THERE! Welcome! You want one of the hard candies? Have one, they're great! Oh, that's your room! What a great room! You'll love it here! The pool out back is awesome! Have a great time! Let me know if I can do anything for you!' And I'm the type of person that will respond, 'WELL THANKS! I'll be sure to check that out! Nice meeting you!' Because at least they're doing their job right. Some may feel annoyed, I feel like I made a new best friend :D. The best part is I find if you ARE one of the people that plays along and is friendly back, they'll do nice stuff like make sure the candy bowl is stocked with the Cream Savers you like :). One of the girls at the front desk actually did that for me, i wanted to hug her xD.
-The One With A Broom Up Their Butt. True story. I was sitting in the lobby of the sister resort next door because their wifi was better; that's where I posted the last post. And there's another girl about my age there with her laptop. We're both sitting in the lounge chairs, and there's a big chest/coffee table in the middle. Cute ocean-y decor. She had her feet on it, just relaxing (you know, what vacations are for) and the older lady at the front desk was checking someone in. And literally the lady's speech went as such: *to people checking in* "So yes, here is your key, you'll need to check out... *turns head* miss, you need to take your feet off of that it's an antique. *turns back* by 10am on Friday." Like, seriously?? The girl turned to me and we had that little "What is HER problem" look and she took her feet off. One of my favorite quotes from "Stick It" was always, "What's up HIS butt?" "I don't know, but whatever it is, it's sideways." xD.
-The One As Fake As Her Tan. Kind of a cross between the Inconvenienced One and the One Who Likes Sugary Cereal. This person seems SO nice and sweet but it's so fake you wanna puke. And then every so often, if you push them a liiiiiittle too far, they'll reveal their true side. Scary shit, man, scary shit. But until that point it's all Colgate smiles and friendly speech. Yuck. I go on vacation to get AWAY from Cheshire ;).
-The Easy-Going Maintenance Guy. He's the most relaxed because he deals with the objects, not the people. We actually had to call him so many times (I swear I thought the keys were in my pocket when I locked the door behind me...) we were on a first-name basis, his name was Pete xD. There's really not much to say except I appreciate these guys.
-The Pretty Maids. The housekeepers usually barely speak English and are often old. But sometimes you get lucky with pretty Russian college students. Ash made me get a picture for him. Enough said :P.

And that's pretty much it. Most hotel staff falls into one of those categories. I just think it's funny to see how people act, especially in the hospitality business. If you've stayed anywhere this summer I'm sure you know what I mean too.

But anyway, I'm home now :). Hopefully gonna see Ash today, I can't wait! His lung and everything is doing a lot better, too, yay :D.

♪: "Bulletproof" by La Roux (I actually prefer the acoustic version of this. And it bugs me to no end that in correct French it should be "La Rousse" or "Le Roux" cuz of gender agreement. Whaaatever :P.)

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who misses highspeed wifi :(.

I'm on vacation at the moment, (same as last year except I'm happy this tome xD) and the wifi and cell service is patchy and slow. I have lots to blog about when I get a chance though :).

But for right now, since I'm only at this hotspot for a little while and my battery is almost dead, I just wanna really quickly say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to another totally awesome person that I know follows this blog :D. he's a pretty spiffy kid and I'm looking forward to Latin 4/5 with him this year :D.
And a happy Day-300 to Ash and I :) <3.

Alright my iPod keeps telling me I'm down to <20% battery so I gotta go xD. Talk to y'all soon, hope you're enjoying summer :).

•: "Birthday" by the Beatles
••: "Failing, Flailing" by Streetlight Manifesto
•••: "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train