The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen whose blog gets her into all sorts of trouble.

I have no idea what to post about anymore because as soon as I get a tad bit personal or opinionated people get their knickers in a knot. I sincerely wish I had kept my identity a secret, I've mentioned this before. Whaaatever. So yeah. I'm gonna try to come off extremely bland for a while and see how that works.

♪: "Real World" by Matchbox 20

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen WHO GOT A TUMBLRRR OH EM GEEEE!!1!!!

This is lyk SOO cool! Iv never had a tumblelog before so idk really how to do this...lol! so im just gonna post different stuff about my lifeee. ive been through a lot more than youd think. im like, just another ordinary girl...except im super deep. only taylor swift understands how i feel so im gonna post her lyrics. and pictures of galaxys, or couples holding hands, with her lyrics as a caption. and my own amazing photography. its art cuz i tilted the lens, or zoomed in really close on my eye, or its a silhouette, and then i edited it on picnik. im also gonna post about how i got my heart broken because guys are all assholes :''(. but im still gonna flirt with them anyway cuz theyre hawttt ;). im really unique, just like everyone else lol! and did i mention im totally deep? <333

...Oh gimme a break :P.

People just bother me sometimes. Their blogs are as similar and predictable as they are. I'm probably not much better myself but I do try to avoid the girly blogger stereotype to SOME degree :P. I should probably get another actual decent topic sometime soon though. I'll get on it :).

P.S. I need a song for the Talent Show. Something with a decent piano accompaniment so I'm not just playing chords. So far considering No Floods, Vanilla Twilight, Not Like The Movies, and Love The Way You Lie (if I can get a partner to do the rap for me). Opinions? Suggestions? Greatly appreciated :).

♪: "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's going on a quest.

I want to become the best girlfriend ever.

Not because Ash mentioned I need improvement or something, nothing like that at all. He's actually saying I'm already great, I don't need to do anything more, yadda yadda yadda. So that's why I'm polling you guys for some help instead.

I mean I already know I'm not bad. I'm affectionate and loving, I can cook/bake, and I can play Halo. What else do guys want, right? xD. Plus I'm working on my paranoia and jealousy with the help of my shrink :).
But I want to be even better. I want Ash to have the best possible girlfriend, just for him. I want to be the very best. (yes, like no one ever was ;)).

SO I'm asking you guys for tips. If I have any guy readers, I'd certainly appreciate pointers on what they think makes the perfect girlfriend. And for the girl readers, if you know of anything that you've heard from guys, I'd certainly love to hear that too. I just want to get as many people's opinions as I can to get a census on what makes a girlfriend perfect.

Thanks in advance :). Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I most certainly did for the most part, although that walk in the cold on Thursday made my cold relapse and now I might also have an ear infection which is making me dizzy and feel like there's water stuck in my ear xP. BUT I went out for Indian food with Ash and my family last night, it was really good. We just had a lovely relaxing evening together, I absolutely love nights like that where I can't help falling in love with him even more :). Then today even though I feel half dead, I washed my hands super well and spent 3 hours decorating giant gingerbreads. They look awesome :D. Sooo yeah. Hopefully gonna feel up to going to school tomorrow. Anyway I gotta go finish a book for Lit tomorrow! Must! Stop! Blogginggggggg!

♪: "With Me" by Sum 41

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen WHO'S GOING TO GET IN TO COLLEGE.

No matter WHAT Jack likes to say to be an ass. And I'd like to apologize in advance if I come off as an ass in this post, I don't mean to sound stuck up or anything.

Anyway I'm inspired to write another post because it appears overnight since that last post I got 32 views on here...you guys don't mess around xD. Also it's snowing wooo! The cold might actually be worth it!! Ash and I are planning on spending a nice day together tomorrow decorating my room with garland and such so it'll be a nice Christmas-y atmosphere with a dusting of snow :). ANYHOOZLE.

I deleted my Formspring a week ago at Ash's suggestion. He didn't really like that I was getting creeped/hit on by random sleezebags, and he was getting bored of the questions being en mass all the time. BUT nevertheless, haters gonna hate, and sure enough someone (anonymous, of course) found their way to the ask box on my Tumblr (yes, I got one, but only for a personal blog kind of thing, I'm not moving this site) to ask me this:

"Legit, you're only in modern world?"
To which I replied that I was flattered, but yes, I decided against taking AP European history after the insane amounts of stress brought on by AP US history last year. They then asked again,

"for someone who's so "smart", you're pretty dumb for being in that low of a class"
To which I said...well, very rude things in reply. 


Because the thing is, I get this ALL the time. From Jack (you guys remember him, right?), or Sal, or anyone else that hears I'm only in Level 1 history, and only taking Latin 4. It's always a surprise; "Wait, you aren't in Euro?" NO, NO I AM NOT. Because I freaking value my sanity, thankyouverymuch. So then Jack's retort is always, "Yeah, well, we'll see who's laughing when you don't get into college."
I HAVE A 4.2 GPA AND I'M GOING TO GET INTO A FUCKING GREAT COLLEGE DAMMIT, AND I DON'T NEED TO KILL MYSELF WITH STRESS FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS TO DO IT.
...is what I feel like shouting at him every time he or any one of my other AP-snob friends says that. 
Sure, some people thrive in history classes. Like my friend Calvin had like over 100 in it for a while because that's just his forte. Or Fred is doing great in his AP science classes. Good for them...but it's not my thing. Literature is my love, so I'm taking AP Lit and doing great, I love that class. But history...it'd be just as bad as APUSH was last year, always feeling inadequate and stupid amongst kids that this just came so naturally to. Even though I was capable, (I got a 5 on the exam last year) I didn't want to put myself through that again, it was a personal choice that I'm proud of. 


So then why do I still feel stupid?


Because of all these incredible expectations, I guess. Since I was a little kid, I got good grades. So everyone congratulated me. So I wanted to get more good grades. So then people congratulated me more. So then I had to get even better grades or they wouldn't be impressed. And pretty soon I'm one of those people who's crying over a B- in an advanced math class. We talk about this in Lit sometimes, we have really interesting discussions which are great because everyone's in the same boat about being a high achiever. It's so much more of a curse than a blessing, trust. There's this constant expectation from our parents, teachers, and even our peers that we're just smart people. So we should be taking all AP's, and going to Yale, and becoming doctors, and saving the world. Anything less would be wasting our potential. Some kids would kill for a brain like mine, why would i waste it on something like level one? And I hate that, I hate that expectation. I hate that my friends follow that expectation and I feel like the idiot of the group because I'm not. Why would I burn myself out now getting into a crazy elite college just to put myself through even MORE stress? I would honestly end up suicidal from the pressure, I could tell you that right now. I don't want to save the world...I want to be happy when I grow up. I want to live up to my own expectations and be happy for myself, not for everyone else. So Jack and Sal will go to MIT. Great. I'll become a quad-lingual language teacher (and no, Sal, I don't really need to take AP Latin or Euro to get into a college for that). And while they're stuck in a lab pining over blueprints for some aircraft engine with an upcoming deadline to a harsh boss in a diploma-lined office, I'll be helping kids understand a magical code that will help them communicate with people they wouldn't be able to otherwise, and watching their faces light up when they understand that. 


Because dammit, I wanna learn to be happy with my life.


And CollegeBoard doesn't seem to have a course for that. 


♪: "Fat Lip" by Sum 41. 

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who feels terrible for deserting you all!!

It's...it's been hectic, we'll leave it at that. But Ash and I are back from our "break" (if you could call it that) and things are going well :).

Actually, instead of a decent post today, I'm just gonna catch you guys up a little on a few different topics I wanted to mention.

Friends:
I'm not good with them, I've mentioned this xD. But I've made some improvements. the week before One Acts our cast got really close, finishing off with an after-party sleepover at Chico's house/mansion which I had a lot of fun at :). (more on that later) So that was nice.
Fred also was IMing me the other day about this new girl he likes :). It was so cuuute. We used to talk about stuff like that all the time but we just haven't even seen each other in like, weeks. So it was really nice to talk to him again, it reminded me how much I really miss that group of friends. I, and I do believe Ash does as well, want to get more into that group again, I miss them. Fred's a sweetheart so it's a shame his stupid decision to take 4 AP classes this year is keeping him locked in his room :P.
There are other standards of friends though...today, Ash and I had plans to go to Chuck E. Cheese's with John and another one of his friends. It was a half day, we were gonna be stupid and do kiddy things, it woulda been fun. BUT then Ash got sick, and stayed home all day. AND the same with John. But I was texting them (after school, my phone got taken during school, more on that later) and it seemed that I would wait in the lobby and then his friend would finish his errands, pick up John, me, then Ash, and we'd go out for lunch at least if not Chuck's cuz Ash had to be home by 2:30 (he wasn't supposed to leave the house but his mom wasn't home :P). So I waited. And waited. And waited. For an hour and 15 minutes. Until finally Ash and I figured screw it, I'd at least go to Ash's so we could wait together for them, and if they didn't come, at least we could  hang out for a little while and have SOMETHING to do before 2:30. So, I put on my fluffy hood and walked for 25 minutes in the 20 degree weather to Ash's house xP. More on that later. But yeah, they never ended up picking us up for lunch so we just sat at his house. Delightful. It just pisses me off that it seems like no one ever actually sticks to their plans. It's like yeah, we'll make plans, and if they happen, great, if they don't and you get screwed over, meh. I hate people like that. So GRR to them! GRR!

Ash:
When I finally got to his house, I was greeted with a big long hug and a mug of perfect-temperature hot cocoa with lots of whipped cream :D. It was just perfect. I didn't even care how long the walk was, I warmed right up and it was so lovely. Then we just kinda chilled out and talked about how frustrating his friends were for the 15 minutes until my mom got there to pick me up. It was just nice, relaxing :). Things for the most part have been going well with us. He still has a shit-load of make-up tests, quizzes, and labs to do, as well as driving school, so we can't really talk in the afternoons much, but it's alright. If I was in a bad mood I'd be pointing out a faults too (I realized I tend to do that which isn't really fair) but I'm really not so no need to go there.

One Acts:
If you didn't see it you're lame. Because even if we didn't win, the Juniors were wonderful and I am so very proud of them :). Our costumes were amazing too. Then the post-show sleepover at Chico's was great, almost everyone went (although Ash got picked up at 1am since again, his mom is annoying). I had a lot of fun with the cast. Except for that part when Peach, obnoxiously flirty as usual, was sitting on my boyfriend's lap feeding him chips and I had to leave the room twice to go upstairs and scream into my pillow. But whatever, you guys have read enough to know by now how I react to that sort of stuff, he apologizes, then it all always ends up being forgiven and we move on. So moving on!

Bureaucracy:
I hate study hall monitors and hall monitors. Because frankly "monitor" may as well be replaced as "power-tripper". Like, okay. I understand that it's important to go to your classes on time, and pay attention, so that you can learn and understand the teacher and do well on tests and get into college. They're there to enforce rules that help me do that. That makes perfect sense, I have no problem adhering to that. What pisses me off is when the study hall monitor stands outside of your class, and marks you tardy if you walk in more than a few seconds late. Some of my TEACHERS don't even do that, what on EARTH gives THEM the right to be so picky?! What am I gonna miss by walking in a minute late, a really important key set of notes on how to spread gossip? OH TEH NOEZZZ. Get over yourself. No one's ever going to respect you the way they respect an actual teacher, no matter how much power you think you have. Accept it. Furthermore, I totally agree that you shouldn't be able to use cellphones during tests without it being considered cheating, or during class when you could miss important notes. That's a given, there's logic behind that. But when i'm walking down a HALLWAY, texting my boyfriend who's home sick; "Hey, I love you, feel better!! <3", who the hell am I disrupting?? I'm not blocking the hallway, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm not cheating on a test, I'm doing it in the hallway so my phone CAN'T be construed as any of those things. But nevertheless, halfway through that text some stout, cranky looking woman shouts, "HEY!" then comes after me and demands my phone. I look at her like she's an inside-out beluga whale and explain that I'm walking in the hallway, not class, and sending a quick text. She says that it doesn't matter, any time outside of lunch she has to confiscate a phone when she sees it. Just to make a point. I tell her that doesn't even make SENSE because there is no lunch on a half-day. She tells me it's the rules and I have to give her my phone. I try to explain that the rule is senseless and unjust in this situation. She takes it anyway. At that point I just want to scream at someone. LAST TIME I CHECKED, I, being the AP US student she never was, Connecticut ratified the 4th Amendment in the 30's, which guards me from unreasonable search and seizure. I determine this is unreasonable seizure. If I signed my rights away in one of those goddamn RUP's I want it shredded because next time someone tries to take my property without a warrant or my consent* I'm going to shriek "THIEF" down the hallway until they leave me alone. Or rather, next time I'll just save my texting for during that important lecture so it doesn't get taken in the hallways.
OR BETTER YET. I'll go up to the hall monitor tomorrow in all black, on the verge of tears, and say, "...he...he didn't make it. And I didn't even find out until hours after...I couldn't even say goodbye..." then just walk away. I could mean my goldfish for all she knows but I hope it makes her feel like the rule-obsessed robot she is.
*Just saying, I would consent if it was during class. I know rules are rules for my sake, I'm not just like, 'FUCK THE POWAHH' for the sake of it. Reasonable rules I'll abide by and consent to no problem...anyone that knows me knows I'm that type. But when rules are unjustified, unreasonable, and unfair, and they just need to enforce rules to make a point that there's a rule, I simply will not comply. I'm too logical for that. Even though Sal was laughing at me at dismissal for being so adamant xP. 




The Cold:
Lia's a snowboarder so she's gonna read this and then hate me (sowwies!) but I REALLY REALLY do not enjoy winter because of the cold. Snow is very pretty and fun, yes, and Christmas is lovely. But I HATE that I'm shivering in my own room right now. Cuz my mom gets all, "NYEAHHH WASTING ELECTRICITY NYEAHHH MY EYES DRY OUT WHEN ITS HOT NYEAHHH WEAR A SWEATER NYEAHHHHH" when we turn the heat up past 62 or 63. Today at Kohl's though, I got this pair of gloves that have something in the tips that are compatible with touch-screens and track pads, so I can wear gloves all the time and still be able to use my laptop and phone :D. Definitely recommended if you're in a similar situation, or just hate taking off your gloves to text on a touchscreen.

That's basically what's been going on and my thoughts on it. I'll try to keep up more frequent posts, but I can't make promises, sorry. Anyway, have a nice night :).

♪: "Friends Like You" by Bowling for Soup
♪♪: "Baby, It's Cold Outside" the Glee version cuz it's adorable :)
♪♪♪: "Starman Theme" from Super Mario Brothers (tm)
♪♪♪♪: "...And Justice for All" by Metallica