The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who frickin' loves her AP Lit class.

Every day at the beginning of class, we do a journal with a prompt about something random. Today's was pet peeves. It was so awesome, because we had a 15 minute discussion where we discovered that all of our classmates had the same compulsive peeves as ourselves. And since this blog is about realizing no one's alone in how they think as well, I thought I'd post some of the ones mentioned today that I definitely agree with.

• When your parent/sibling comes into your room, then leaves the door open when they leave. 
• Uneven hoodie strings
• People who talk during movies
• People who talk when you're trying to read or do homework
• People who just don't know when to shut up EVER
• Dry skin or chapped lips
• The feel of cotton balls or raw flour. [I HATE THIS SO MUCH. One girl in my class apparently does too and I wanted to freaking jump out of my seat and hug her cuz I thought it was just me xD]
• When you know someone's been on Facebook but they don't reply to your inbox or wallpost. 
• People who chew gum loudly or obnoxiously, especially when it's quiet
• People who walk slowly in the halls, or simply stop in the middle of the hall.
• Shameless flirts.
• Pretty girls who wear too much makeup when they very obviously don't need it. 
• Frizzy hair
• Tags sticking out of someone else's clothes
• Uneven bra straps
• Pen clicking/tapping
• Using 'like' every other word (It's actually really hard to not do it :P)
• When it's too hot to wear a sweatshirt but too cold to not wear it.

...There were like a trillion others but those are the only ones I remember xD. And I guarantee you read at least some of those and cringed going, 'AHHH I HATE THAT!!' because that was what all of us did. It's so great knowing you're not the only crazy one in the room :D. 

♪: "Pearl" by Katy Perry

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who feels like Atlas.

Yeah, I connect real life situations to Greek Mythology. Deal with it.

I feel so rundown lately. I think I'm definitely fighting off some sort of bug or virus since I've been getting these headaches and mild fevers almost daily and getting an upset stomach too. But idk if the stressed caused those symptoms or the symptoms are adding to the stress, it's hard to tell.

Ash has been really frazzled lately. He has obscene amounts of Chem homework, the manager of the place he was supposed to start work this week is a flake, and he's just stressed. And I mean I completely understand that he has a lot on his mind, and I would obviously be stressed too, I just hate how he becomes when he's stressed and doesn't get enough sleep. Whenever he isn't too busy to talk, he snaps at me when I try to ask what's wrong, he says really vicious things meant as jokes, and he's just not the sweet, sensitive guy I'm used to. It's just not him. And I'm not getting frustrated or impatient with that, I know funks just happen, it's just not a good thing. I try to stay positive and peppy anyway, it's just...

It's a lot harder than I'm making it look.

Because I've apparently developed my own paranoia. It's really delightful, I can't fall asleep anymore unless I think/know he's asleep. Because otherwise I just lay in bed wondering who he's talking to if it isn't me. So i stay up, refreshing Facebook again and again until I'm certain he's asleep. I wake up in the morning and there's always something he posted long after I fell asleep anyway, though. It makes me sound so creepy and desperate to admit this, I know. Plus it means I'm not getting enough sleep either which is REALLY not good. It's just this paranoia since last week that I can't seem to shake. I hate it and I hate myself for doing it but I just can't stop.

But I've come to a realization. No matter if I do find something and get upset about it, or I tell him something bothers me...he isn't going to do anything different. When it comes down to it, if he decides he wants to flirt with Regina or anyone else, he will. Nothing I can say would stop him. So, I just have to accept that. He tells me he loves me and only me and only wants to love me, that when he hugs Cady or whatever, it means nothing. That's what I want to believe, and if he's telling me that then I just have to believe it. All I can do is assume he's telling the truth, and meanwhile be the best girlfriend I can be. I've made an extra effort lately to look absolutely gorgeous at school and be sweet and non-irritable and low-maintenance for him so I can be sure all he'd want is me. And that's really all I can do at this point, so there's no point in getting stressed about something that may not be happening or ever will happen. I'll just give this everything I got and hope for the best. If I get screwed over again...well, you can put on the record now that it was my own choice. 

So that's been going on in my head too. And if that isn't enough, I recently got some news that my grandpa in Australia really isn't doing too well. We sent him some 'support' greeting cards by express mail today instead of 'get well' ones. 

And it's all just getting to be too much. I wear my high heels to feel confident during the day at school, and I can shove it all in a bottle and be strong and look completely fine. But then as soon as I'm alone it just feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world. I keep thinking and thinking about all this stuff I have no control over and can't fix or make better. And I just break down in tears and don't know what to think. I hate it. I don't want to be like this.

I know Ash is trying. He calls to say he loves me and he asks how my day was and tries to cheer me up. He's a good boyfriend. But I can't expect that of him right now, he has his own shit to deal with. I have to snap myself out of this and it's just not easy. I want to be happy, for him. I have tons of reasons to be happy, like him. Or like the fact our anniversary is in a week. And I can be happy for a little while and then I just don't have the energy anymore. I hate it.

So do me a favor please? When you see me smiling and laughing and being confident at school, just go along with it. Pretend you don't know what I'm really feeling. I have to keep faking it until I make it. 

♪: "Stand In The Rain" by Superchick
♫: "Pearl" by Katy Perry

♪♫: "Failing, Flailing" by Streetlight Manifesto

I don't care that I may be wrong. I don't care about the little voice in the back of my head telling me that. I don't care that he said our song 'lost meaning since it became mainstream'. I don't care. Because this still means a lot to me. And he means a lot to me. And I know he loves me and I love him. And I know I can be strong.
♪: "The Only Exception" by Paramore.

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who thinks Formspring isn't all bad.

Firstly, FAQ's!
-No, I will never confirm or deny or reveal the real name of any codename I use on this blog. Any questions regarding this I will delete.

Favorite Recent Questions From Ash's or My Formsprigs:

why do you flirt with [Regina] and [Cady]? honestly, though! [Me] is one of a kind and you are soooo lucky to have a girl like her; why risk losing her?

Is iT worse to do somEthing bad, or to Lie about it? To Lie about it. If someone really cares about you, and you're completely up front about everytHing Even if you know you scRewd up, they'll probably forgive you. . . (From [Me]'s blog) [**see note about this one at bottom.]

Lol yeah flirting with other girls while dating someone = flirting especially if you're saying you love them and shit. Also, she actually is a whore though, she like went after my bf at one point in time. And no I'm pretty sure she does.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Ash's above, mine below~~~~~~

[me]. u r a lovely girl and u r my friend so Im gonna try to help u. I've tried to give [Regina] the benefit of the doubt time and time again but each time, se has proved me wrong and has lost my trust. be warned that she always ruins relationships.

dont worry about the shit [Regina] says shes a stupid whore. mike obviously loves u a lot and shes just jealous cause all guys want her for is sex. ur gorgeous and have a relationship worthy of envy. :)

your newest blog where you said you think its "weird" that you can forgive but not forget..i am the exact same way. bring up a situation that happened over a year ago and i will be just as pissed as when it happened. you're not alone. 

your bf is amazing. i can only hope someday i find a guy like that =]

I read your blog, and I'm sorry that [Ash] isn't treating you as well as he should, you deserve the best and he should know that, whatever happened is in the past (hopefully) and it's good that you forgave him, I hope things truly do work out :)

**So did you all shit bricks when you saw what I meant in the starred question that was on Ash's Formspring? Cree-py. We have an idea of who wrote it and that person is probably just trying to start more false shit with us again [not Nina, though]. But if you're just some random person that thinks they know something I don't know, why don't YOU tell me? Shoot me an inbox sometime, I'm curious. 

To anyone and everyone that's been supportive and caring and concerned towards me...thank you. So much. I'd give you all hugs if I knew who you were. It means the world to me that people who read this actually care about me, it's like having a gazillion imaginary friends who keep an eye on me and are there when things get tough. So you guys rock. This is really just a thank you to you all :). 

But to anyone that I don't really like and who know I don't really like them...don't be a creep. Kay? Kay. 

♪: "Satellite Skin" by Modest Mouse

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen whose desire for grudges holds constant wars with her attention span.

Just a quick and random post. I discovered something about myself today.

As a general rule, I hold grudges. Deeply. I can still recall things that my mom didn't buy me when I was 6 that I resent her for. Even though Rayne and I are pretty friendly now I'll still never forget her and Sal. It's just that I can forgive, but I fear that if I ever forget (the way Ash does) then I'll get screwed over the same way twice. And I don't want to let that happen so this is how I am.

BUT I also discovered I have absolutely no patience for long-lasting drama. Like Nina over the summer, it gets to a point where I just throw my hands up and say whatever because I'm bored. Not tired of, or over, the situation, I just get genuinely bored of being upset over the same thing for long periods of time. I wanna move on to something new. Does this mean I've forgiven anyone? Absolutely not. If you remind me about it two weeks later the anger will probably resurface. But there just comes a point where I get done. I don't want to talk about it or think about it or deal with it anymore. I don't care if deep down I'm still hurt or things aren't fully resolved, I just wanna pretend it never happened and move on.

It's just kinda weird.

OTHER NEWS. I love you readers, you guys are fantastic <3. I love knowing someone out there can relate to how I feel.
Also, I haven't gotten a tumblr yet so I can't reblog things. BUT I've been following a friend of mine's, codename Chamille, and I just love some of the stuff she posts. And this one in particular made me laugh out loud for like 5 minutes straight because I LOVE Belle and this is all true. So I'm sharing it with y'all too :).

Ooh and one last thing, anyone know where I could find/how I could make a decent Cortana Halloween costume? ;)

♪: "Thank Goodness" from Wicked
♫: "Supergirl" by Hilary Duff

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who misplaced her rose-colored glasses. Now I gotta dust them off to put them back on.

That sounds like a good name for a song, actually. Calling dibs on that title now :P.

What is trust?
Trust is having faith in someone, believing what they tell you, and being assured at all times that they are and will be true, and be completely honest with you.

Why is trust important?
Because otherwise you simply can't believe anyone or anything.

What happens when you do trust someone?
Everything works. You're happy, there are no worries, and life is good.

What happens when you don't?
Constant, destructive stress. Every moment of the day you wonder if they're lying to you, if they're deceiving you. You listen to everything they say and then think, 'But what if they don't mean that?'

What builds trust?
Constant honesty and openness and complete truth.

What destroys it?
Deceit, lies, and any sort of hidden information can destroy trust.

Can trust be repaired?
Yes.

How? 
Apologizing and meaning it. Admitting you were wrong. Rebuilding the trust. Being overly honest. Never doing the same thing that broke the trust the first time. Constantly reassuring the person that you care about them and are doing everything you can to make this right. Constantly reassuring them you want nothing more than to earn back their trust and will do whatever it takes; then doing that. Telling the truth, the entire truth. Hiding a single thing will put you back to square one.

Then is everything as good as new?
Break a mirror. You can glue it back together perfectly, but you can still see the faint cracks. Unless you like, melted the glass back together. That might work :P.

That's a shame. Is it even worth fixing then, if it can't quite be the same?
Yes. I dare you to show me a mirror you've used regularly for a year that doesn't have a single scratch or crack. It happens. Gives it character.

How long does it usually take?
Trust can take weeks and months to completely build and only an hour or so to break. It depends on the situation and people and the bond they have.

And if the mirror is smashed beyond repair?
If picking up the broken glass gives you more cuts and pain than the happiness you get from looking into the finished mirror, then no, it is not worth it.

How do you know when it's worth it or not?
You feel it.

Is it worse to do something bad, or to lie about it?
To lie about it. If someone really cares about you, and you're completely up front about everything even if you know you screwed up, they'll probably forgive you. It's worse when they have to hear it from someone else, or they find out from snooping. Don't write it off as 'it was nothing' or 'they won't find out, it doesn't matter'. They will always find out.


Can you have a relationship without trust?
Not a very good one. Unless neither of you really care about what the other is doing. But if you care, even a little bit, and you can't trust them...it'll hurt.

Do you trust Ash?
Not entirely, not right now. But I love him and trust him enough for now that I want to give him the chance to make it right. I want to give us the chance.

How does he feel about that?
He's patient. He knows how I feel so he doesn't hold it against me when I ask to see his Facebook inbox or whatever. He wants us to work out and is trying to do everything he can.

Why did you get so upset about what happened anyway? He was just flirting, he never touched any other girl...
Because it still makes me feel like shit, and like I was being deceived. Like I'm doing everything I can to make him happy, and he's telling me he loves me, then he was going behind my back telling someone else he loves them and not me. It makes me feel like the whole thing was a lie, even if he was never serious with Regina, and only ever did really love me. It just hurt, and I felt lied to. Now it's harder for me to trust him, because now I wonder if every girl he says is "just a friend" and that it "was nothing" is actually more than that like Regina was.

Do you hate Regina?
Yes. She's the same category as Nina as far as I'm concerned. Maybe worse because the stuff Ash said to her was actually legit.

Are you completely honest with Ash?
Yes, actually. Am I a perfect girlfriend? Not by a long shot. I've done stuff that's upset him, and he told me so now I won't do it anymore. But I tell him everything. I can't bear to lie to him or keep anything from him. Except, of course, his awesome anniversary present. I can keep that a surprise ;).

Have you ever been a part of a conversation anything like Ash and Regina's ones with someone other than Ash since you've been dating?
No. I've gone to the movies with Devon though, and even though it was obviously just as friends and nothing SLIGHTLY romantic occurred, Ash still wasn't too cool with it. So I know that now, the way he knows that I'm not very cool with him talking to other girls and saying they're pretty at 1am.

So then what's going on with you and Ash. Straight up.
We had an issue but we worked through it. Neither one of us is perfect but we love each other so we can work past each other's mistakes. We're going to stay together and we're going to be very happy. [Hopefully] No other girl is going to get in the way of that, Ash is going to try and be sensitive and not do anything that he knows would upset me. If that doesn't happen...well, I'm not allowing myself to think negatively for the moment or I'll drive myself bonkers. Okay? So please don't ask further questions. I just want to forget this all happened.

♪: "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem, ft. Rihanna
♫: "Be Good To Me" by Ashley Tisdale
♪♫: "We Are The Few" by Streetlight Manifesto. Because yeah, all either of us knows now is that we gotta do something right.

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who needs to stop hitting herself.

Just about a year ago (361 days, precicely) I got an email from a friend who was having a mental breakdown. This girl that had broken his heart was suddenly IMing him saying she missed him, and even though he swore he'd never go back to her, he was so confused and unsure. The next morning I went into school, walked up to him (and we rarely talked in person before), picked up his arm and whacked it against his stomach, saying, 'Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!...point made?' and he laughed and said yes. Now I sort of feel like I need someone to do that to me.

It's ironic, though, that situation was basically the start of the most wonderful, confusing, heartbreaking, true, deep, loving, sacrificing, thrilling beautiful disaster of a relationship I've ever experienced. A relationship I do happen to still be in.

Shit went down. I'm not supposed to be telling people more than that although you probably can guess. Ash never touched the other girl (besides hugs), i'd like to at least make that clear. Nevertheless, the offence was enough that I went to his house today intending to end it. But, we talked it out and after much crying and promising and apologizing, I forgave him. It'll take a while to earn back the trust he broke but he's working on it, for us. And I think the mere fact he's doing that is enough reassurance I'm doing the right thing.

Am I an idiot? Naive? Pathetic? Maybe. But I also do need to learn to have a little faith in people sometimes. Ash loves me, and he's going to prove that, so we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed for luck. I'll keep you guys posted <3.

♪: "You Got Nothin' On Me" by Demi Lovato
♫: "Here We Go Again" by Demi Lovato

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Oh god...

He lied.
I was right.
Commence dying in hole.

Hope Regina's happy.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen with no patience for people.

Reasons [most] Girls Suck*:

-They flirt with people they shouldn't flirt with.

-They gossip.

-They PMS.

-They're bratty.

-They're catty.

-They're two-faced.

-They're insincere.

-They lie.

-They're superficial.

-They're clique-y.

-They're obnoxious.

*This is not hypocritical. I fully admit I can be all of these things too.

Reasons [most] Guys Suck:

-They upset and hurt girls.

-They don't understand girls.

-They don't understand the hints girls give off.

-They don't understand what girls mean when they say things.

-They're insensitive.

-They lie. 

-They don't think...like ever.

-They'll never admit they're wrong, or are making a mistake, and rarely admit when they made a mistake.

-They have no concept of character judgement.

-They're too obsessive about video games.

-They just don't know what the right thing is to do in certain situations.

Again, this isn't everyone. Cissa's been wonderful today, and Keith was being pretty cool. And Ash really isn't as bad as I made him out to be with how angry I was today. I'll admit I overreacted, but I stand by the fact that I had every reason to still be ticked off. I just shouldn't have reacted so much on the ticked-off-ness. But i was just so goddamn ANGRY! I could just see this turning into Nina all over again and I just wanted to claw someone's eyes out! GAH. We're talking about Regina here, btw, if you remember her from all the way back in June. But yeah, I just don't like her much. I'll leave it at that. 

In other news, Joe is currently visiting the US from Korea and he's apparently gonna come to school with us tomorrow!!! YAYYYYY I'M SO STOKED :D.

♪: "Paralyzed" by The Used

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who has weird phobias.

For one, I'm terrified of moths. Bad experience when I was a kid. I am completely comfortable around spiders, and bees, and wasps, and snakes, but moths...*shudder.*

I also recently discovered I get panic attacks from being tickled too much, idk if that counts as a fear though or just hating being tickled.

But I came to the realization today that I am completely, horribly, terrified by the idea of break ups.

See, Tawny and John broke up yesterday. Sadface :(. The thing is too that I'm pretty sure they're serious this time. They've 'broken up' in the past for a matter of a day before getting back together, but it seems like this time it's for good. Tawny may already be interested in another guy too, but that's not my business to discuss here. Point is, it got ME thinking about break ups and it just sent this horrid chill down my spine. It was that kind of terror when someone like, suggests going on Downtime when you're afraid of heights, or pushes you in the deep end when you don't know how to swim. Like for one the idea of losing Ash, not being able to hug and kiss him all the time, that hits like a rock in the head. But even just the idea of going through a break up, dealing with all the 'what happened?' and 'aww i'm sorry, you wanna talk about it?', trying to find a way to make things work in your new situation without going insane, trying to stay strong but knowing that's not even an option for at least a week or so...the entire thought of that just makes me want to lock myself in a closet and go, 'LALALALALALA NOT LISTENING ITS NOT HAPPENING LALALALALA'. You know? It's just a huge fear of mine.

I don't want to think about it right now though. Things with Ash are going fantastic. (We worked out what was bothering me in the last post. For now, at least, unless he does it again :P). Our anniversary is in a couple weeks :). I'm hoping to make it fantastic because I won't get to see him on my birthday (he'll be in the hospital with his second lung surgery :( :( :'(. ). But yeah. One Acts is going well at least. And Glee was fantastic last night :).

Oh, and I was talking to my friend Chico at lunch today about how a surprisingly large amount of people read this blog. So like, hai gaiz :). I really do appreciate having readers, its pretty awesome. Be sure to leave comments or use the feedback buttons so I can hear from y'all :).

♪: "Satellite Heart" by Anya Marina
♫: "Your Love Is My Drug" by Cashew? Ketchup? Idk, that drunk dollar sign girl that needs to go to the triple-A meetin's. [+5 awesome points if you got that.]

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

FRUSTRATIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

I literally just want to punch a wall, cry a river into it, and then throw things at the wall until the hole is filled up and sealed. GAH. Sometimes it literally seems like the only person who wants Ash and I to have a nice, happy relationship is me. And he's going to get mad at me for saying that and being upset; whatever. I just feel like shit right now and it seems like no one cares because it's my own fault for feeling shitty and I should just get over it.
Well maybe I won't this time.

♪: "Face Down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
♫: "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen with a cold.

And I'd put money on the fact that at least 2 people reading this right now have one too.

It's fall, and the change of seasons seems to always bring about sniffling, coughing, and sneezing in every class--usually it's the kid that sits behind you or shares a lab table. You feel that tickle in the back of your throat and soon enough your sinuses become lumps of concrete and it feels like you swallowed too much broken glass. Every time you talk you sound like Mr. Snuffleupagus and you have to get up to blow your nose in class every 5 minutes...it sucks :P. SO since you're either sick, or probably going to be sick shortly, I've put together a survival guide for those snotty 5-7 days :).

-Stay or Go? The morning you wake up with a cold, you know it. Everything aches, you can't breathe through your nose, and it feels like there's a fog over your brain. So, the first question is, do you go to school and suffer through it there? Or (if your parents are obliging) call in sick and chill out watching Wheel of Fortune all day? Often this depends what kind of day you have. Tests, quizzes, and projects are nice to miss, but a pain in the ass to make up. If you're really unprepared though then congratulations, you just found your perfect solution for another day of studying xD. Break out the pajama pants, robe, and fuzzy slippers for a day of OJ and fleece throws. If you don't wanna miss a test, or your parents don't believe it's bad enough, then you get to fight a losing battle against the weight of your eyelids for 6 hours...joy.

-Purell Me! If you're leaving your room at all with a cold you better freakin have hand sanitizer or pocket-size-Wet-Ones with you. Cuz you know why I got sick this time?! Okay, well it was probably from kissing Ash when he had a cold. BUT YOU KNOW HOW I'VE GOTTEN SICK OTHER TIMES?! From people that go to school when they're sick. And I get that, you have to do that sometimes; I've had quizzes the past 2 days that I didn't want to miss. But goodness people don't sneeze on me! Or cough on me! Or near me! And if you're borrowing my pencil you damn well better sanitize that before giving it back! Most teachers these days have delightfully huge bottles of the stuff near the tissue box and it's extremely convenient. But if they don't, you better have your own because I do NOT want the desk after you otherwise :P. Just be courteous, people. You wouldn't wish anyone else to feel this crappy.

-A Nose In Need Needs Puffs Indeed. School tissues suck. Those pathetic little fine-grain sandpaper sheets leave you with nothing but a sore, red nose by the end of the day. BUT the school won't spring for better so that's all you got. However, some rare, divine teachers recognize this and shoot you a godsend: they personally buy their own tissue boxes for their class. These can vary from the classic Kleenex Extra-Soft, to Puffs Ultra or Puffs Plus Lotion (my personal favorite), and I've even seen the Kleenex Anti-Bacterial ones that kill the germs in your boogers so they don't float from the trashcan to anywhere else or something, apparently. My physics teacher does this and I wanted to just hug her today; she has a big box of Extra-Soft and a big bottle of lemon-scented hand sanitizer next to it. Sadly, most teachers DON'T bother with this, so you may be interested in bringing your own pack of tissues in your backpack. You'll look a little lame, but you'll have the last laugh when you're the only one without a chapped Rudolph-style nose!

-They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab But I Said, "Achoo, Achoo, Achoo". Think positively: your cold benefits SOMEONE. Pharmaceutical companies make billions each year making delightful drugs for people exactly like you! YAYYY DRUGS! xD. So start off your day with a Sudafed to keep your nose clear, continue with some Tylenol if you're achey, and grab some Ricola Cough Drops or Chloraseptic Throat Spray if your throat is sore. I also personally LOVE Yogi teas when I have a cold. It's a brand of teas in the natural foods section of Stop and Shop, and I really love the one called "Throat Comfort".  It's got Echinacea in it which just soothes your throat like nothing else and doesn't taste bad either. They also have a good one called "Breathe Deep" which clears your nosey. Pick up a "Cold Season Sampler" if you wanna try a couple different ones. They're pricey, but they work and are worth it :).

-MY BUBBLES. I love taking bubble baths when I'm sick. The hot water helps drain your nose, soothe your muscles, and break a fever. And bubbles are fun ;). I also like adding a little lavender bath oil, because lavender helps you fall asleep faster.

-With A Soda On The Side. I'm pretty sure Chicken Soup is a given here. Homemade is always the best but some Chunky will do in a pinch. Omnomnomslurp. :).

And there you go! That's basically how I'm getting through this cold, maybe you picked up some stuff that'll help you get through yours. If you have any other remedies you'd like to share, I do always love getting comments! :)

Also, as you can tell, I'm home sniffly and bored today and probably all of tomorrow too since Ash is grounded. So shoot me an inbox or Formspring, I could use some entertainment xD.



Have a nice [healthy] weekend!

P.S. It seems like everyone's getting Tumblr's nowadays. Imma stay faithful to Blogger for now though :). Do you guys have opinions? Should I switch sites? Do you have Tumblrs that would be easier to follow me with? Feedback por favorrr! :)

♪: "Satellite Heart" by Anya Marina
♫: "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry.

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is flattered :).

I apparently have a reader in Massachusetts! and other various ones around here I probably don't know about! so I just wanted to say

I LOVE YOU ALLLLLL!! seriously, I love seeing your comments on my posts or formspring...makes my day. :). especially nesse, he/she is fun to discuss stuff with (check out the comments on the honesty post) and I don't even know who they are. its just awesome.

so just wanted to share my appreciation. I'm honored you guys enjoy the randomnesses that make up my brain. :D. so keep the comments coming, definitely :).

AND ALSO VANILLA TOOTSIE ROLLS ROCK. end of story. ;).

night everyone! and if you're catching a cold like me, feel betterrrrr!

•"So Much Better" from legally blonde the musical. I just love the positive disbelieving confidence of the song!

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Songs for the Sitch

"Just" by Streetlight Manifesto


Can't get the stink off
He's been hanging round for days
Comes like a comet
Suckered you but not your friends
One day he'll get to you
And teach you how to be a holy cow

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

Don't get my sympathy
Hanging out the 15th floor
You've changed the locks three times
He still comes reeling through the door
One day I'll get you
And teach you how to get to purest hell

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you, you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself.

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you, you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself, yourself, yourself

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who would like to re-introduce you to this website!

Welcome! 

This is my blog. A blog is where people state their personal feelings, observations, and beliefs. That's what I do here. I state situations I'm in, people I encounter, and thoughts ("musings") that cross my head. I then write these in a post and share them with Teh Interwebz. 

On this blog, I use codenames. This is to protect the identity of my friends and enemies, and myself, who goes as "Geek In The Pink", although you probably know me anyway. If you can guess the real identities of the codenames, good for you! I'll never explicitly reveal them though. So even if you think and are certain a post is about you, it still may not be. If you do completely recognize a quote that you know you said, or a situation you are completely sure you were the only one involved in, and you recognize your codename, I certainly recommend using it when commenting on a post. Rei does this sometimes.

I am a very honest person. I never said I was a nice person, I never will say that: but I'm honest. If I think something, feel something, or want to comment on something, I will do so honestly with my true feelings. Much of these posts are just honest statements of my opinions. If you are easily offended, I strongly recommend you leave this site and do not return. I do not recommend telling me that I'm wrong, mean, or a bitch for what I write. That will likely anger me, and I'm a very spiteful person and frequently bitchy (again, being honest). If you have your own opinion, and you are able to present it maturely in the comments to set up a harmless discussion, feel free to "muse in reply", and I'll always respond. If you are not able to present it maturely, I suggest starting your own blog (that's what I did). 

Continuing with being honest, I would like to lay out a disclaimer right now informing you a little bit about myself so you know what to expect from these posts. I am:

• Not particularly sensitive [on these posts]    
• Bitchy
• Spiteful
• Easily irritated, angered, hurt, and depressed
• Nonsensical
• Very, VERY sarcastic.
• Addicted to vanilla tootsie rolls
• Not good at taking criticism
• Often cruel and vicious with words
• Repeat: brutally, scathingly honest. 

If you have a strong opinion against people with the characteristics described above, I would like to remind you again that this blog may not be for you.

I would like to suggest that if you are still easily offended but insist on reading this blog, please read it fully and carefully. Look out for phrases like, "Some people are ____ but others are ____" or "Not everyone is ___ but I find that most are _____". Those indicate that I am not making generalizations. It means even if you are involved in the situation I'm referring to, WHAT I SAY MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST. Therefore, please avoid throwing hissy fits or getting hurt or angry unless you are the only person that I could possibly be referring to. Otherwise, I may be referring to others, and you may be the "but others are ___" part that I have no problem with. Therefore please avoid jumping to conclusions assuming things. If you generally do take things very personally and are easily upset, this blog may not be for you. 

However, if you do not have any of the above stated issues, and enjoy reading about my thoughts and commentary on teenage life, I welcome you most warmly to my humble Interweb abode! Thank you for reading and have a fantastic night! :)

♪: "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett

♫: "Geek In The Pink" by Jason Mraz

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is caught in the straight-jacket between pigtails and business suits.

College scares the shit outta me. 


And I'm only a junior too, and it's still terrifying. Like in theory, I wanna be like, "Oh yeah, Cheshire's so boring, I can't wait to get out of here and go somewhere far." But then I went to the college fair, and I realized how real it is that soon enough I'll be applying for colleges, then GOING to college, away from my friends, the streets I know like the back of my hand, the friendly faces at every supermarket, and I just get this horror where I turn into this 5-year-old clinging to the bedpost before school, screaming, "IDON'TWANNAGOIDON'TWANNAGOIWANNASTAYHOMEANDWATCHSPONGEBOB." 


It's just like...every time I think about applying for scholarships and visiting places I just wanna put a block on it and be like, "No, I have plenty of time." But the thing is it's gotten to the point where...where I DON'T. I actually have to start thinking about it and stop putting it off. I have to actually figure out what I want to do with my life. Who I want to be. Time's apparently running out for me to like, play around with what I like, try different stuff casually, be different people. I have to get--dare I say it--serious. Blech. 


I don't know, I'm still probably overreacting (since I know there are seniors reading this right now going, 'How do you think WE feel?!' xD) but it just hit me today, talking to all the college reps. Scary shit, man, scary shit.


Guess it's time to actually start talking to Guidance. xD.


In other news, I'm officially losing Ash to Halo: Reach tomorrow :P. It's only fair cuz he's losing me to One Acts ;). (SO EXCITED!). I already lost him to a live chatroom re-play-through of Pokemon Blue tonight, that's why I had time to write this. I guess if he get's engulfed by Reach too you can expect more posts xD. 


♪: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry


P.S. This is just a little random note about the person that was on my Formspring..."i loved your last blog post, ive just had somewhat of a messy breakup, and your blog made me feel like someone finally understood what it was like to love someone sooo much and yet have them still like another person. thanks for making me feel better =]" Firstly as I said, you're awesome because that's exactly why I write this stuff. Secondly, if anyone else is reading this right now and feels like making someone's day, comment (or include in another comment) just a little "*hug!*" to this person. We all know breakups suck. Even if you've never been in one that sucked, if you read this blog you know they can suck xD. And it's always nice to know people care :). Just a thought if you have a free second.

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's generally honest, which is apparently rare now or something?

I just don't understand people sometimes.

I've been hearing a lot lately about cheating and lying. People insist that I'm cheating, or Ash is cheating. (We aren't.) And just recently Tawny was having an issue with John where she had reason to believe he's been talking to the ex she hates behind her back for months now. It's just like...ugh.

If you love someone, love them and be with them. If you don't, break up with them and move on. Okay?

The first time Sal and I broke up, it was because I had gotten bored of him, and had started liking another guy in Bright Lights that year. Sal was just not interesting or exciting to me, whereas this new guy had that whole new-crush-rush thing going on. That happens to couples, I get that. But I didn't act on it, is the thing. I told Sal how I was feeling and when things still didn't really improve, we broke up. I continued to crush on the other guy for a few more weeks, that burned out, and eventually we got back together (luckily for me).
But like, without sounding too up-myself, that's how it's supposed to work. If you lose feelings for someone, break up with them. THEN explore new possibilities. If it turns out you still miss the first person, if you're lucky it'll still work out. Otherwise, it's your own stupid fault anyway.

I just can't comprehend cheating. I feel like it's the greediest thing you can do in a relationship. Cuz at it's root, its wanting to have your cake, eat it too, and then still want more cake. You're telling the person that they just aren't enough for you. Even if they're doing everything perfectly, they aren't doing it enough, so you want someone else too. Or even worse, they're doing it perfectly and enough, you just want something different too. And instead of being fair and going after whatever it is do you really want, you want to have both so you hurt the original person that never did anything wrong. Like that's just so selfish, how could you hurt someone that loves you that way?! Like I said: unfathomable. So like when Tawny called me on Saturday really angry and upset telling me about all these wall-to-walls or whatever she found that gave her reason to think John had been talking to his ex for months, I just couldn't believe it. Like why would he even want to do something like that, Tawny's an amazing girl and she loves him like crazy and I can't imagine why he'd want anything more. As it turns out, he still claims nothing was going on and Tawny accepted that but I would imagine she's still a little shaky to trust him (sound familiar? :P). It's just such a shame that this is even a plausible situation.

But it IS, cuz I mean it's been happening since forever, "thou shalt not commit adultery" is in the friggin commandments. But people still want to and they do. It just sucks. I don't know why it's so hard for people in love to just stay in love with each other. Why do people have to get greedy and risk everything?

The saddest thing is that because it's so prevalent, people find it hard to believe that two people CAN just be happy in a relationship with each other. Hence the rumors about Ash or I cheating. We're actually in love and happy about it, is that really so hard to believe? That people assume, "Oh, they've been together for so long, one of them MUST be getting bored of the other." We actually aren't. So stop with the rumors and have a little faith. Bleh. Just be honest, people, you owe it to the people around you.

BUT ANYWAY on a happier and unrelated note life is actually going really well for me at the moment :). I had a wonderful night at the carnival with my friends and Ash, and he's just been really sweet and affectionate lately so I'm just constantly in a wonderful mood :). And it's fall! As autumn's #1 fan, I'm officially calling it. I love this season :D :D :D.

So yeah, I'll hopefully get some more inspiration for more new posts more frequently :P. It's not that i forgot about you guys, I just don't wanna have like, posts just for the sake of it, I wanna make sure each thing is something that's happened recently that I really feel strongly about. So be patient :).

♪: "They Provide The Paint" covered by Streetlight Manifesto
♫: "Firework" by Katy Perry

Just To Set The Record Straight.

• I have not ever, not once, even vaguely considered having feelings for anyone else other than Ash while being in this relationship with him.
• I love him with every single inch of my heart and I couldn't possibly want anyone else more than I want him. He's everything I want and need and more and there's nothing I could find in someone else that he isn't already perfect at.
• I have never, ever, cheated on ANYONE that I have ever dated. I am NOT that type of girl. Cheating is for the pathetic that don't have the balls to just be honest with their signifo. 
• I have not kissed (or done anything more than that with) anyone other than Ash in a year. I have not wanted to. 
• Not even my best friend Devon, as people seem to think. Yes, we hang out sometimes, we saw "Vampires Suck" together. Ash knows all about it whenever we do, and is okay with it because he is friends with Devon too and trusts us both. He should, because nothing ever happens because he is like a big brother to me. We are friends, and only friends, and he is interested in someone else. This should not be hard to comprehend.
• FURTHERMORE, Ash assures me this is all reciprocated, and he has never had any desire to cheat on me, and consequently never has. After all this stuff this summer he knows it's important we're 100% honest with each other.
• We are in a happy, honest, successful relationship. We love and trust each other completely. This has been the case for 11 months as of today. :)

So you can all quote me on this, and stop making up fake shit to post on both of our Formsprings. Honestly, at this point, if you aren't even bothering to at least attempt fabricating evidence or making up a believable story, it's just funny. Go find something to do with your jealous, pathetic little life and leave us both alone. 


Thank you. 


P.S. If you're going to imply someone is homosexual (i.e. using the term "fag" in a derogatory manner), you're  contradicting yourself by saying then saying I kissed them. Were they actually homosexual, they would obviously not want to kiss me in the first place. If you're going to be a dipshit, at least be a logical dipshit, please.
P.P.S. Happy 11-month, sweetheart :) <3.
P.P.P.S. I promise I'll get some actual axiomatic musings up here eventually xD. I just felt the need to make this announcement because evidently people on the internet are very gullible.

♪: "Misery Business" by Paramore
♫: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry

The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is sooootireeedddd.

I even have a system and it still doesn't work.
You know how it sucks when your alarm goes off and you want 5 more minutes but you know you'll be late if you do that? WELL.
My first alarm of music goes off on my iHome at 5:43 (but I think it's about 6 minutes fast, whatevs). I listen to the song to gently wake me up, press snooze, and go back to bed. That wakes me up another 10 minutes later, and it's still only 5:53 (give or take). After that I allow myself a few minutes of checking Facebook and easing myself awake, and then I have a 5:55 alarm on my phone when I really have to get OUT of bed. So then I have a nice 15 or so minutes to gently wake up without having to worry about being late for my bus at 6:45.
That's usually why I'm so cheery in the morning, just fyi. It's good to try out, it's a much less stressful way to get up in the morning. BUT it's still far too early for my taste. As far as I'm concerned, if my body doesn't wake itself up, then clearly I am not ready to wake up yet :P. 


Anyhoozle. This post doesn't have too much of a point, kinda like the last one. Just a brief update. 


Junior year is going well. My teachers seem pretty cool for the most part, no crazy-ass ones like my chem teacher last year. I'm loving my Latin class. We're all upperclassmen and it's a really chill class so far and it's just nice. PLUS Magistra brought her own portable air conditioner for the room and it makes me want to hug her <333333. And my French teacher teaches only in French!! Apparently she stops that after the first week or so but I really hope that isn't the case, I learn best by hearing it. Ash is starting French this year too, and he has my old French I book, and no one else has had it since me. Weird :O. 
Stuff's going well with us :). We're settling into a different routine of talking/seeing each other in school than last year, but it's working out. It just sucks he has a really tough chem teacher and has loads of homework so he doesn't have much time to call me :(. He does whenever he can though, which is good. I know this year's grades are important. I guess it just gets to me when the times he says he will call, he seems to forget. But i understand he has other stuff to do and he'll get around to it :). I know he does care, he's just busy. And as long as I know he cares, that's what matters <3. 
I got a weird Formspring question today.
"You're an amazing person. Beautiful, talented, kind. And you hate me, and I feel horribly about it."
I was taken aback a little. There are really only a couple people I really hate in the world (you all know all about that :P) and they aren't the type that would call me an amazing person. So I'm a little confused. Whatever, I told them to try and contact me to talk it out because they seemed nice, I guess we'll see what happens.



First week is almost over, peeps. Then it's only 3 days next week, then the carnival :D. Stay positive, I know I am :).

♪: "Firework" by Katy Perry
♫: "Find A Way" by The Used