The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is caught in the straight-jacket between pigtails and business suits.

College scares the shit outta me. 


And I'm only a junior too, and it's still terrifying. Like in theory, I wanna be like, "Oh yeah, Cheshire's so boring, I can't wait to get out of here and go somewhere far." But then I went to the college fair, and I realized how real it is that soon enough I'll be applying for colleges, then GOING to college, away from my friends, the streets I know like the back of my hand, the friendly faces at every supermarket, and I just get this horror where I turn into this 5-year-old clinging to the bedpost before school, screaming, "IDON'TWANNAGOIDON'TWANNAGOIWANNASTAYHOMEANDWATCHSPONGEBOB." 


It's just like...every time I think about applying for scholarships and visiting places I just wanna put a block on it and be like, "No, I have plenty of time." But the thing is it's gotten to the point where...where I DON'T. I actually have to start thinking about it and stop putting it off. I have to actually figure out what I want to do with my life. Who I want to be. Time's apparently running out for me to like, play around with what I like, try different stuff casually, be different people. I have to get--dare I say it--serious. Blech. 


I don't know, I'm still probably overreacting (since I know there are seniors reading this right now going, 'How do you think WE feel?!' xD) but it just hit me today, talking to all the college reps. Scary shit, man, scary shit.


Guess it's time to actually start talking to Guidance. xD.


In other news, I'm officially losing Ash to Halo: Reach tomorrow :P. It's only fair cuz he's losing me to One Acts ;). (SO EXCITED!). I already lost him to a live chatroom re-play-through of Pokemon Blue tonight, that's why I had time to write this. I guess if he get's engulfed by Reach too you can expect more posts xD. 


♪: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry


P.S. This is just a little random note about the person that was on my Formspring..."i loved your last blog post, ive just had somewhat of a messy breakup, and your blog made me feel like someone finally understood what it was like to love someone sooo much and yet have them still like another person. thanks for making me feel better =]" Firstly as I said, you're awesome because that's exactly why I write this stuff. Secondly, if anyone else is reading this right now and feels like making someone's day, comment (or include in another comment) just a little "*hug!*" to this person. We all know breakups suck. Even if you've never been in one that sucked, if you read this blog you know they can suck xD. And it's always nice to know people care :). Just a thought if you have a free second.