The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who got her life back! Woo!

It's around 9 on a weekday and I'M NOT REHEARSING! :D. That's not to say I don't miss the play, I mean it was fun, but the stress probably cancels that out xP.

See, I LOVE performing. I LOVE directing. The stage makes me happy. But depressing storylines...? Not so much.

This year I just found rehearsals to be so emotionally draining that I simply couldn't enjoy it as much as I did last year. I came home from every rehearsal depressed and exhausted (especially because we usually ran about half an hour overtime xP). It would always put me in a bad mood that poor Ash had to deal with when I got home. Not only that, but we like to think of CHS Drama as a family. If that's the case, then I'm that one aunt-in-law that everyone's nice to but it's like...are you even related to me? Allow me to elaborate.

It's not like I don't have friends there, I do. Chiki's the greatest, I believe I've mentioned her before? She's a junior and kind of an anime nerd but she's not QUITE one of *those people*. She likes to draw, and she draws the most adorable little characters! I'm in her Chem class and she doodles all the time. She's pretty shy around most people but she's really funny and enthusiastic around people she knows. She's all-in-all one of the coolest people I know, and I'm really glad I got closer to her this year. So I hang out with her, and a couple other of our mutual friends.
Thing is, she's friends with *those people*. That is not to say everyone in that group is one of *those people*. But they are of that theme. By *those people* I mean geeks. Not nerds, nerds are awesome. Or geeks in pink, they are awesome as well. I mean the hard-core anime and manga fanatics that associate only within their own group because of their poor social skills. I mean they're nice and all but just like...eh. I like to choose my friends. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people I associate with just assume I'm their best friend and act like I am when I actually think they're coming on way too strong and don't like them one bit. Especially when they don't take hints about it. Their attempt at befriending me actually pushes me away more. If I'm nice to you, it means i like you and we're friends. If i'm standoffish, I'd rather you just take the hint and go away. Sad, really, but I just can't stand clingy people like that. So although Chiki and a few others of that group are fantastic, I don't really want to be in that posse because of the few *those people*. And I'm not being a snot, I just don't feel comfortable with them. One of the girls tells me to "not get raped" whenever she sees me and Ash holding hands in the hallway. Okay? It's just weird. So I stay tight with Chiki and the others but avoid actually getting into the group.
I have other various friends, including one totally awesome gay guy, a supernice freshman who's SO fun to act with, my One Acts buddies, and one of the girls who stood up for me on Formspring that time. But, again, it's the posse thing. They all already belong to their own posses that I'm just not in. It's not that they don't like me, I'm just not quite one of them. I'm sure you all know that feeling. So I don't push it, because I don't want to be one of *those* clingy/pushy people, and just keep to myself. Again, that one-random-aunt-in-law at a family reunion. There, but just not quite in.
I'd usually end up sitting by myself either reading or playing FireRed (Ash gave me his extra GBA and game!! :D. He's awesome like that.). Playing Pokemon is a nice way to meet people it turns out, there was a group of about 7 guys who would do the same thing as me. We'd all sit in a line against the wall and just play xD. Nerd companionship that doesn't actually involve awkward conversations? Win :). It just doesn't mean I'm making actual friends though.

So basically although something I love is over, the feeling of being alone in a crowded hallway is too. Bittersweet, yes, but probably more sweet than bitter. Bright Lights is starting up soon and I feel a little more accepted there :).

[[[IN OTHER NEWS]]]

Ash:
I can't even express how much I love this kid. He's such a good boyfriend to me. Probably better than I deserve but I don't care because we're in love and being his girlfriend makes me happy just to get up in the morning. He kept me sane through the entire rehearsal process, he's so nice to just snuggle with on a dreary, rainy day, and he's so good at loving me :). It's so obvious how much he cares about our relationship. I can tell he values it as much as I do, and that means the world to me. So everything is peachy-keen :D.
Friends:
Meh. We started a Relay for Life team, the DeceptiCures (as in Decepticons :D). Ash is in it (as is Sal, Rayne, and the rest of the Herd) so we're hoping for him to get a little more bonding time in with my friends. Other than that, they're doing well. They came and saw the show :).
Sal/Rayne:
Speaking of seeing the show, Rayne saw it on Friday night. Sal came on Saturday xD. Why, you may ask? Because Rayne wanted to go on Friday but Sal wanted to watch Ninja Assassin with Keith. So he chose Keith and Rayne went alone. I honestly feel bad for her because I know exactly how it feels to be put second like that, and now I can see from the outside how poorly Sal treated me. It not only makes me appreciate Ash more, but it's helping me not be angry at either of them anymore. At this point I don't even care, I almost feel bad that she's stuck with him xD. I mean it's not that he's not a nice guy, he is, he's a very good friend...just not quite as good a boyfriend.
School:
DIE AP HISTORY BOOK DIE DIE DIE!!!

And that's pretty much it. Sorry this took so long to get up :). THANK YOU RANDOM PERSON WHO ACTUALLY CLICKED A FEEDBACK BUTTON ON MY LAST POST! :D.

Have a lovely evening :).

♪: "Just" by Streetlight Manifesto (99SOTR ftw!)
♫: "With Me" by Sum 41 <3.