So I got my learner's permit last week, it was pretty sweet. Not as sweet as my other friends that already have their licenses and are laughing at this, but still :P. But anyway to do so, we all had to read the whole DMV manual and learn all about rules of the road and whatnot. And I couldn't help but notice that driving on the road has an analogy very near and dear to every teen's heart...
Hallways.
We travel in them, we merge in them, we can't avoid them. So for the same reason there is a manual for driving on roads, there ought to be a set of guidelines for courteous travel and safety! These guidelines in my opinion are as follows, but please feel free to add your own in the comments :).
Speed Limits:
-Because there are no posted speed limits, use your best judgement and follow the flow of traffic. Just because you have plenty of time to walk from one end of a hallway to another, does not mean the person behind you is in the same situation. Hallways are not the place to get your swag on, homey, just speed up, look alert, and be aware of the crazy band-to-math kids running up from behind you. Students in a rush reserve the right to push mosey-ers out of the way.
Stopping:
Would you ever just brake in the middle of the road because you saw a pretty flower on the curb? No. Likewise, you should not just suddenly stop in the middle of a hall because your friend is at their locker. If you need to stop, you are to pull over to the side of the hallway as easily as you can without cutting anyone off too much. When stopping to go to your locker, do not pause in the middle of the hallway and wait for the opposing crowd to stop. Push through as best you can, or even do a U-Turn so it's easier to get to your locker. But for goodness' sake don't just stand there! Now that you have been suitably warned, any moving student has every right to push a non-moving student if they are blocking the hallway. Says me.
Right of Way:
At an intersection, it is every teen for themselves. Those intending to remain straight are better off keeping to the right. But those crossing to turn into a different hallway have a harder time and must push through for themselves. However the following cases should be generally observed as right of way:
-They're bigger. Chances are they wouldn't stop to let you cut in front of them anyway.
-They're seniors. Just don't.
-They're a couple. If you've had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you hold hands with in the hallway, you know it's just rude and inconvenient when someone tries to barrel through between you. This ain't no game of Red Rover, folks.
-They're a teacher or administrator. Duh. Hall Monitors don't count though, hallways are their job.
Aside from those exceptions, it is best to just push through as much as you can. You've all played Frogger as kids, I'm sure...it's like that. But once again, DO NOT STOP! This only makes it harder!
Random Maneuvers/Exceptions:
-U-Turns: Acceptable if they can be pulled off without stopping or crashing into someone. Much harder to maneuver as a couple but possible.
-Locked Classroom Door: Often the lazier teachers won't return back from lunch right on time. This often creates a large mass of students huddling by the door. This is not their fault, so avoid them as best you can. Students in this situation would be wise to stick to the wall as best they can.
-Lockers on Both Sides: Exercise caution.
Passing Safely:
Sometimes you're in a rush and the moron in front of you might as well be oozing down the hallway. Attempt to pass on the right or left. If there is a line of oozers (generally Freshmen), you have the right to push them aside a little bit and use the center of the hallway to get around.
Noises:
-It is not necessary for you to shout, 'HEY, BITCH, WAIT FOR ME!' from one end of the hallway to the other.
-Keep hallway conversations relatively safe. Discussing top-secret gossip is not wise when you're packed with kids listening to you from either side.
Electronics:
-Cell Phones: Need to shoot a quick text? No problemo, as long as your peripheral vision is functioning properly. If you're so engrossed in the conversation that you bump into people/lockers/doors/Mr Pic, it's time to stop.
-iPods: I generally avoid using them in hallways so that a) I can hear people if they're calling me and b) they do announcements sometimes about people that have to go to guidance. So use discretion.
Parking:
There's a reason double parking is illegal: IT SUCKS. So why would you stand in a clump that's 4 people wide out from your locker?! This is usually in the morning or dismissal and it's a pain in the ass. You really don't need all 6 of your friends to be in a huddle by your locker at 7:27am in a hallway with lockers on both sides. Find a nice alcove or less crowded hall to hang out in, like the cooking hallway or the science hallway, or the cafeteria. Also, if you are standing at someone's locker and the person who has the locker next to them tries to get past you, they have right of way and you should offer a short apology.
So there you have it, basic rules of etiquette for hallway navigation. Again, if you have your own, please add them in the comments!
♪: "Push" by Matchbox 20
♫: "Looking Up" by Paramore
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