The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's home doing math homework on a Friday night...again.

Because I actually haven't had actual plans since Junior Prom. It was awkward to explain this to my mom.

Mom: So if you have some free time this weekend, you could go to the movies with some friends!
Me: More like if i had friends, I could go to the movies with some friends.
Mom: Did all your friends just like, leave?
Me: I guess. Most of them sucked.
Mom: Oh.
Me: Yeah. Um. Good-night.

Although it's not as hugely pathetic as I make it out to be...honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I did have plans. I'm like, not used to hanging out with people, it'd probably be really awkward :P. I'm content just chilling here working out and doing math, my abs and GPA could use the help.

And a realization. Although I feel horribly terrible about this, I've determined that there is a definitive bubble of comfort around me. Where if a friend stays outside the radius, everything's hunky-dory. Even on the radius is cutting it close but I can deal. But, if they start to try and help me, or tell me what to do, or become too involved or focused on my life, I freak. I absolutely freak. I just can not even deal with it, I just shut down and don't want to talk to or be around them in case they try to come any closer. So then I do everything I can to push them far back out of my bubble until I feel comfortable again. And I know it's so not even fair but like...there's nothing else I can do. I do NOT want a hero, I do NOT want dependency, I do NOT want one of those "You broke past my walls and proved you cared so now I love you" stories, that's disgusting. I want to be left alone.

Although, in the words of the lovely Audrey Hepburn, "I want to be left alone, I don't want to be alone."

I perplex myself. Anyway. Back to math homework. I hope you're all having a lovely weekend, and I hope anyone attending Senior Prom has a fantastic night!! I can't wait to see pictures!!

And any juniors: Vote for me for Class of 2012 Senate! :)

Tata <3.

♪: "Burned" by Hilary Duff
♪♪: "Haunted" by Taylor Swift