The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who always looks on the bright side of life!

Hahaha no that's actually a joke I've been feeling really down all week and nothing's getting much better. Today wasn't much of an exception but there were some brighter parts and that's what I'm going to think about.

Firstly I realized I didn't tell you guys about prom. My bad! It was only like...3 weeks ago. But it was awesome. Sal looked rather suave, I looked like a mermaid (California 37* reference anyone? ANYONE??), and we had a wonderful time together. Our table was absolutely hysterical, the food was great, we danced and danced and danced, and all in all it was a fantastic night. Thanks to him both of my proms couldn't have possibly been better :). I finally completed our collage too of all the dances he's been my date to since 8th grade. It's really cute and I love seeing how we grew together. I mean you guys know better than anyone what a journey it's been but if this is where we ended up, I'm not complaining at all <3.

Whoaaa it just started down-pouring really loudly. I think that was lightning too. I love the sound of torrential rain when I'm safe inside my room :).

Oh and I should catch you up on other things too. Like Sal and I went to this really cool discovery/adventure park on Tuesday where we went cliff diving and rock climbing and swimming and just had an awesome time in general. We like adventures. Unlike my lamer friends (Keith, Fred, and Jack for example) who wouldn't go on roller-coasters on the amusement park field trip yesterday. I mean COME ON you're going to be at college next year and you still won't ride roller coasters?! Like GROW UP!

On a completely unrelated note I nearly cried at the doctor's office today because they gave me 3 shots.  Frickin pre-college physicals. But they gave me a lollipop so I kept it together until I got to my car and could swear like a sailor without small wide-eyed sniffly-nosed tiny humans staring at me in the waiting room.  Hmph.
And speaking of pre-college things I also found a roommate! I won't codename her yet because I don't know much about her except that she's also a hotelie, she likes the same TV shows as me, and enjoys cooking and drama like me too :). She seems really cool so fingers crossed it'll work out!

Oh and big news, stop hating Ash. 98% of the stuff that I thought he did and thought I had proof of him doing, was false. And I finally proved it. Finally. It was like a huge weight I didn't even realize I was still carrying was lifted. Much less anxiety :D. Anyway here's how it happened: a few weeks ago he was talking to Cissa (his current girlfriend) casually about faking inboxes and texts and she happened to let it slip that it's quite simple, she knows because she did it for months in conjunction with Horiah in order to break he and I up. He admitted to messing up minorly a few times, but after that she didn't think he was a good guy for me so made him out to be an even worse guy so we'd break up. She was the one that faked a lot of the inboxes and texts that were the basis of my paranoia and anxiety all those months. She actually admitted it to him. I was shocked. Then the other day he was trying to convince me to have a peace conference with her so we could clear the air before graduation. LIKE HAHAHAHA FUNNY JOKE NO. Especially not now. You can clear the air yourself by eating all the dust I'll kick up as I run away from this place and forget your name. So yeah. If you were still harboring any sort of grudge against Ash for my sake, please let it go. He's not a bad guy. The only thing wrong with him is that he's still with Cissa even though he knows all this now xD.

Okay I think that's all the catching up. So this week.

The underlying stress of it all is simply the fact that college, particularly an ivy league one that doesn't give merit scholarships, costs a lot of money. I do not happen to have a whole lot of money. It sounds so simple and easy like that so I won't go into it more. But it's just stressful and guilt-inducing so I try not to think about it, especially since I can tell Sal doesn't like seeing me upset about it :\.

And I got weighed today at my physical. It was worse than bad. I think I'll just burn all my bikinis now so I'm not even tempted to embarrass myself this summer.

Um, weren't you going to tell us the good things that happened today?


Ah, that's right. Thanks, Voice in My Head, I'd go insane without you. Good things today included:

The AP Studio Art show. Just wow. Some of the pieces were just great, others were like...whoa. One girl in particular concentrated on 'problems of today's society' and her drawings of people were so realistic it was impossible to not be affected by it. Another girl who you may know as Lia concentrated on conflicting lines, and I loved her pieces because they looked insanely realistic. There was one of a brick wall that looked like you could reach out and touch and one of a room that looked like you could walk into. There was another piece with a hand squishing different parts of a face and it looked like actual skin. I remember when I had to sit through my mom's art classes for my entire childhood because she wouldn't leave me home alone, and I always heard people complaining about drawing realistic skin, and drawing hands. She did both beautifully and it was really impressive :D. Another girl whose concentration was actually the human body was also amazing, her ability to capture  bodies and especially likenesses of people was incredible. Same with Mimi, she had a portrait of one of the kids in our grade that was actually creepy because it was so true to how he looks, it was like he was watching you as you looked at her other pieces xD. So all in all, I was just blown away by all the talent. There are always a few really good ones in the AP art shows but this year the majority was just really, really talented artists. So yeah good job guys :D.

Devon is just...Devon. He makes me laugh, gives me hugs when I curse my doctor for giving me shots, and today he spent his Friday night making a yummy dinner plus cherry coke cupcakes and cannoli cones with me :D. While watching Will and Grace, of course. It's just nice to spend time with him :). And did I mention he beat out the Smug Asians in total number of honor chords? (Disclaimer: that is one particular group of smug people who happen to be Asian. Not all Asians in our grade are smug.) But yeah. Yay for quiet brilliance :D.

I guess the last good part of today is that I now get to go to sleep xD. I have my voice recital tomorrow and I need all the sleep I can get to stay alert through it or he'll yell at me for looking blah while I sing as usual :P. I'm hoping that this weekend and upcoming week will be better than this one, and aside from having to get my blood drawn at some point (DAMN YOU COLLEGE PHYSICALS. DAMN YOU.) I think it might be.

Happy June 1st :). 18 days and then no more high school. Whoa.

*"Mermaid" by Train
**"This'll Be My Year" by Train