The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who's hesitant.

Trust and hope are delicate, fragile things. They're not easy to get back once broken.

It's hard, because if you trust someone/something, and they break that trust, it's always harder to believe them the second time around no matter how much you want to.

And after a while, if you're constantly hoping things, but get continuously disappointed or proven wrong, it's also more difficult to keep trying to force yourself to think positively, believing in something that you have no reason to anymore.

It's like a balloon; when inflated, it'll float around like no body's business. But poke a hole in it and it deflates in a second, and is a lot harder to pump back up. Because the thing is, even when there's air going in, and everything is being done right, the hole is still there. Disbelieving. Leaking out the happy as soon as it receives it. Getting bigger if it's forced to be stretched even a little bit...it's discouraging. Idk if anyone's been in that kind of situation but if so you know how disheartening and seemingly hopeless it is.

But.
The past few days it's like something's starting to patch up the little hole. Suddenly my pessimism is being proven wrong, just a little, here and there. I start wanting to really believe again, to hope. But it's like this wall in my mind keeps popping up, with all these reasons, valid examples, of why I shouldn't. It blocks my way. And it's logical, hard to ignore. But then there's that whole love thing. Where I WANT to just knock down the wall and let myself let go like I could before. Not caring if I'm setting myself up for more hurt. I kinda just wanna punch the wall of skepticism in the face. But it keeps screaming at me, 'NO. You're STUPID. You're GOING to get hurt again. Try to run past me and you WILL just slam your head again.' And maybe I will. But then, maybe it's just a hologram and I'll get to the other side and be fine. It's a matter of just letting myself do that.

Will that be easy? No. But is it worth another shot anyway, though? I think, just maybe, that it is. Some really fantastic stuff has been happening the past couple days, and whether I had been hoping for it or not, it's exactly what I needed.

So what do you say to taking chances? <3.

♪: "Catch Me" by Demi Lovato.
♫: "Taking Chances" by Celine Dion/covered by Glee