The Axiomatic Musings of a Teen who is has come to terms with her weirdness.

I got asked an interesting question on Formspring today and I wanted to address something. 


PEOPLE. ARE. WEIRD. If you AREN'T weird, then you're weird. Or at least boring. 


The question was simply, 'do you realize how weird you are?'. And just reading it my stomach still dropped hearing that word. Because I HATE that word. All through elementary school and all through middle school, i was the "weird" one. That one kid that was kind of different so she was the scapegoat when the rest of you wanted to feel like you belonged by making fun of someone. You know exactly what I mean. 
See, the problem was always that, I quote, i was "too smart" or "too perky" or "too talkative" and when i did talk, i talked "too fast, too much, and too loud". I was "annoyingly happy" and an "overachiever". I wasn't even the smartest kid in the class. But I made the mistake of signing up to be a tutor during our study hall and they hated me for having to let me teach them. This was 7th grade for the most part, mind you. 
So i tried to fit in. I bought prettier shoes, more normal clothes...nothing worked. I had some friends, I wasn't a complete loser, but even they couldn't protect me from well, the rest of the grade, basically. I continued to go through the school as the weird one. I just refused to stop wearing my hand-made earrings or doing my nails fancy every week. I remember distinctly walking down the hallway one day, thinking, 'but i AM smart and i'm sort of pretty and i'm nice...someone else has got to see that someday too, right?'


Well. I WAS right. 


This is where i'm going to elaborate more on Devon and I's relationship. I've mentioned him before-he's my absolute best friend in the world. We started chatting on AIM in the beginning of winter, 8th grade, and got to be pretty close. We opened up to each other, really showed each other who we truly were...and we still accepted each other. He didn't mind that I was an 'overachiever' or 'weird' or 'perky'...he was too. And once I had that, I had that one home base i could always come back to, and know I was never really alone...then I wasn't afraid anymore. I had gone from wanting to jump off a bridge to being able to jump off a bridge because I suddenly had found a bungee cord. He was the first who helped me not be afraid to be who I was, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. Eventually like most middle school friendships we started going out for a while (we were each other's first loves :)) and eventually it fell apart and stuff was bad, but soon enough we realized how much we needed each other, and to this day we're biffles. 
Once I had that base though, that I knew I could be loved for what I was, I found a new friend, the one and only Sal. We started going out, and as I've mentioned before, I made friends with the *nerds*, his friends. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made, honestly. Because with them, I could be as smart as I wanted and they'd still have to help me with math homework, I could be as talkative as I wanted because they were shy and preferred to listen, and I could be as weird as I wanted, because they were all just as weird and outcasted as I was. I found a place where I could really be myself, and I didn't care if I was getting looks from the Poptarts (have I mentioned that before? it's my word for popular people who dress like tarts) because I had friends who accepted me. And I'd rather be accepted by friends for being myself than having to change myself to be accepted by jerks. I still hang out with that group and it's still better than fitting in.
That's not to say they're perfect. They thought my bellybutton piercing was weird...Ash doesn't. So it may take some fiddling around with friend groups, but eventually everyone finds someone who will love every inch of their weirdness and match it perfectly. I couldn't be luckier to have Ash and Devon :). 


So there you go. Weirdness is only a matter of perspective, and it's up to you to decide whose perspectives matter. 


"We're all a little weird, and when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible with our own, we join up with them and fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." -Boy Meets World. 


♪: "I Can Do Better" by Avril Lavigne
♪♪: "Pretend" by Scott Porter
♪♪♪: "A Moment of Silence" by Streetlight Manifesto