I've already exhausted that list of websites I go on when I'm bored. I've refreshed each multiple times already this morning and nothing new is happening anywhere. Ash is playing Xbox and having a water-gun fight with his sister so he couldn't come over like we originally thought, and I don't have any sort of plans until 8 tonight. Which is 4 1/2 hours away. UGHH. So, in an attempt to entertain me (and maybe you?) for a little while, I'm moving the conversation I'm having in my head with myself to this blog post.
Hello, Self! I see you're looking a little downtrodden.
Yeah, I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to hang out with Ash today because he's busy now.
But why didn't you just make plans with someone else if Ash wasn't available?
Because the plan was he was supposed to be able to come over this afternoon. We've been talking about it all week. I know for a fact Fred wasn't doing anything today and I could have easily called him to hang out. But I didn't know (if and) when Ash was going to be available so I didn't bother because I didn't want to let him down. I hate ruining plans.
Don't you, too, have family members you could be hanging out with?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I LIKE THEM. The only contact I usually have with my mom during the day is when she comes into my room to nag me to tidy it up, and then she leaves. And my dad always has something better to do, remember? I've posted about the shit that comes with being an only child before.
Why don't you go play outside?
I rollerbladed for an hour this morning and now I'm sore and it's 80+ degrees out.
Why don't you watch TV?
Because my options are Hannah Montana and iCarly reruns.
Don't you have that AP Lit work to be doing? Or a book to read?
I'm not that desperate just yet. Maybe in another hour I will be. I was rereading Eclipse for a little while but now I think I'll let it be so I don't ruin too much when we go see the movie.
Are you always this bored when you don't hang out with Ash? That's pretty pathetic...
No, as a matter of fact, I'm not! I can certainly entertain myself to a point. But for the past like, 5 days this has been my afternoon routine. Being bored out of my skull scrounging around desperately for entertainment until evening when I've at least had plans then. There's only so much I have to do. And if I at least know I'll get to see him soon I'm perfectly fine. It's this whole, 'maybe this, maybe not, whenever i get there...' stuff that frustrates me.
Will you be hanging out with anyone tomorrow, at least? It's the 4th of July! Does your family do a party?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AGAIN. No, as a matter of fact. My mom says fireworks are a "pointless waste of burning money for a few moments of colored fire." And then I REALLY won't have a chance of finding someone to hang out with because everyone ELSE does have a family that they like to associate with. I won't get to see Ash again until Monday when apparently I get to go over his house, assuming those plans don't change too, of course, which is always a possibility.
Are you always this pissy when you don't get your way?
Yes.
Why don't you call someone for a chat?
I've considered it but I'm a little too irritable to be conversational at the moment. And like, say I call someone 'just to chat' and they're busy because THEY have plans. Then they feel bad and its awkward, plus they too, know that I'm a pathetic, boring, desperate little idiot.
Don't you play piano and guitar? Do that!
My mom is downstairs playing piano herself at the moment and she gets mad when I kick her off. And I finally grew out my nails long enough to be pretty, but now they're too long and its hard to play guitar, I tried yesterday :P.
Oh my god, you're so irritatingly negative!
I'm honest! And I'm just not in a good mood anymore! One of my biggest pet peeves in the entire universe is when people change plans on me. Because I'm so easily excited and I get my hopes up and plan everything and then when I get disappointed it hits me a lot harder than, well, everyone else in the world apparently. I wish I could be more laid-back, I do. I just set myself such high expectations for everything and having fun this summer in particular and I just keep getting myself disappointed. You'd think I'd learn.
Wait, so you AREN'T saying you're completely dependent? Because someone reading this who does not actually understand you would automatically assume that.
For the gagillionth time, NO. It isn't the idea of not hanging out with Ash that makes me all mopey, it's when I got excited that we planned I WOULD be hanging out with Ash, and now I'm not. I can get along fine by myself if I've chosen that. If i'm forced to be alone because I made plans that were changed on me, THAT'S the only time I get pissed.
Aww. *Sad song on world's smallest violin.*
Don't pity me. I'm just thinking out loud.
Maybe do more laps around your room like yesterday? It helps your Pokewalker!
I have a headache now so I'd rather just lay down. And again, my legs are soooo sore from rollerblading this morning because I haven't done it in a while :P.
Was rollerblading nice though?
It's so much fun! I love the way it feels like the wheels are part of me and I can just glide along. I love going fast and feeling the breeze. Rollerblading is something I just really really enjoy. I got good at it because when my mom got her new car a few years ago it didn't have a bike rack so I needed something more portable. Now I just love it. Tones the ol' glutes, too ;).
Thats nice. I know, play some more Pokemon! You have to train to beat the Elite Four now!
Playing too much Pokemon is the REASON I have the aforementioned headache xD.
I see. Well, Self, I'm worried you've been talking to me long enough that you're probably a little bit bonkers. You should probably just get some aspirin, take a nap, and wake up in 4 more hours.
Thank you for the advice, Self. I may do just that. I bet the people reading my blog now think I'm certifiably insane too! So I should just go now.
Alright, hopefully I won't talk to you soon.
Quite right! Tata!
♪: "Unwell" by Matchbox 20
Saturday, July 3, 2010
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2 musings in reply:
There are so many things to do in life! I know you said you had a headache, but there's a ton of things to do outside. If you're inside, reading is always good, even if it's not for school. Reading for homework hurts my brain xP But don't you do anything to relax? Like drawing, or meditating, or something? Sketching is fun, and it's good if you need to relax, cuz there are soooo many things to draw :D I researched meditation once, and it might help a headache if it's only source was playing pokemon xD If you need suggestions for something to do WITHOUT a headache, I have TONS of stuff I've been wishing I could get to, and some of it might be helpful to you. Also, if you're stuck at home on the 4th, make your own light show! Do you have fireflies near where you live? Catch a bunch in a jar! Make it up as you go, it sounds like fun already.
-Nesse
hi again nesse!!
i didn't wanna go outside cuz it was sooo hot xD. i did end up going out at one point though to play in the brook that runs under my driveway, where there are cute little minnows that swim around and nibble your toes :). that was nice, but then it got too hot though so i went back in xD. i don't really draw well unless i'm really inspired and you can probably guess i wasn't today. i did end up seeing eclipse though and that was really nice :). i guess i'm better now, we'll see how tomorrow goes xD.
AND OH MY GOD. BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED FIREFLIES. i have to do a post about that now at some point and i'll elaborate more, but basically i live in the middle of the woods, and in this one bank/clearing thing to the side of my house there are about a trillion fireflies in the entire area every night. seeing so many light up is mesmerizing, and i can even catch them on my hand :). i always let them go though, because i had some in a jar 2 years ago and they died and then they didn't come back last year :(. but yeah, thank you for bringing that up!! i will post about it at some point and maybe even get some pictures!
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